Peaceful Single Girl

Living in Submission to Christ As Lord

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God’s Design for Us When We Were Children

God’s Design for Us When We Were Children

  There is something so important about childhood and our parents’ relationship with each other and our relationship with each parent. God designed families to function in a specific way to be healthy for everyone. The parents are supposed to love God first with all their hearts, knowing they will answer to Him for everything they think, do, and say. The marriage relationship is supposed to demonstrate a healthy marriage and healthy interaction for the children as they grow up. It teaches boys what to expect from women and girls what to expect from men. It is supposed to teach girls what it means to be a godly woman, wife, and mom from their mom and boys what it means to be a godly man, husband, and dad from their dad’s example. Parents teach children what is “normal” and what love is. It is supposed to be a place where children learn to love, trust, and feel safe. Unfortunately, all parents fail to some degree – and there are wounds created as a child discovers that he/she is not perfectly loved and cared for. The greater the dysfunction in the family and marriage, the greater the wounds and scars the child will have and the harder time the child will generally have in his/her own marriage and family in the future. You learned a lot of things from your mom. You may have absorbed a lot of her mindset and her self-talk without you even realizing that, as well. If she thought things like, “I’m worthless. I’m a waste of time to everyone. No one could love me. I... read more
Is Your Man Drowning in Shame?

Is Your Man Drowning in Shame?

My husband, Greg, has a new site for his blog – he changed the name to Peaceful Husband. You are welcome to check out his new look and his posts. He writes for men, many times – but, he has more women readers than men, so sometimes he also writes for women from a man’s perspective. Lately, he started a powerful series on shame for men that I believe every Christian woman needs to read. Shame is often a very serious issue for men, even Christian men. I would put it on par with the issue of insecurity for women. Shame can deepen and become entrenched in a man’s heart to the point that it becomes extremely toxic – total imprisonment. When a man is feeling shame, he will generally retreat into himself to protect himself from exposure. Sin is always progressive – it all snowballs and gets bigger and more destructive. Greg said that when a man becomes increasingly trapped in shame, other men generally do not reach out to them – because that would be “unmanly” to imply to another man that you think he needs help. Men tend to wait for other men to ask for help – but for a man to ask for help is seen as “weakness.” So – many men feel completely trapped by shame over their sins, shame over not being “man enough” at with women, at work, at church, as a Christian, or shame over their failures (real or perceived). A number of our men feel shame simply for being men in our culture today. They are told they should... read more
A Reader Examines Her Relationship with Romantic Fiction

A Reader Examines Her Relationship with Romantic Fiction

  A guest post from a reader: Like many other ladies, I have a weakness for romantic fiction. There is something so heartwarming about watching two people realize that they were made for each other, and fall in love. My preference is the understated, gradual, conservative approach. Besides closing books at the first hint that they might be unwholesome, I’ve limited most of my reads to those by Christian authors, as an additional safeguard. But earlier this year, something went wrong. Having not had the chance to read many MODERN Christian romances myself yet, I decided a few months ago to browse sites like Amazon and Christianbook.com for reviews of some current bestselling works in this genre. (If you’ve ever dived into the world of Christian romance fiction, you are probably familiar with today’s best-known authors; I needn’t include any names here.) It took sifting through pages of positive reviews before I found any negative comments on most of the titles I looked up, but eventually it became apparent how far many of today’s Christian authors allow their characters to go in romantic situations. At a Christian bookstore only weeks later, I recognized a title and skimmed through it to see for myself. What I saw violated my conscience, making me tingle and yet feel sick inside at the same time. After these disillusioning experiences, I resorted to my old-fashioned romances (those delightfully quaint twentieth-century novels that no one can find anymore) and relished them more than ever before. They engrossed me for hours at a time, carrying me to a dream world where every problem ultimately found its... read more
How Christian Marriage Books Became a Stumbling Block for This Young Woman

How Christian Marriage Books Became a Stumbling Block for This Young Woman

I’m thankful that several women have been so kind and generous as to allow me to share their stories. This is the kind of thing I never questioned or prayed about as I was growing up or in my earlier adulthood. I think it is important to prayerfully examine the things we are consuming with our mind to determine if any of it is leading to sinful thoughts, desires, or motives. Some things can be really GOOD things – that may not be a problem, and may be a blessing for others. But if there is something that is becoming more important to you than Jesus, or you find that you are having sinful thoughts because of a show, a blog, a book, a movie, or a song – then it may be wise to cut that thing out of your life. Anything that entices you to trust something other than Christ alone is a big problem! FROM A READER: I started reading Christian dating and marriage and parenting books at age 15 and dreaming about the future – many books on marriage, (which were really likely inappropriate for that age group). I believe it was because of the great brokenness and pain in my own family that I was experiencing at the time; all I could do was retreat into dreaming of one day having the family that I never had. I also amassed a pretty large collection of Christian books (for a teenager) and became very confused. I was allowed to go to the Christian bookstore, and I bought whatever I wanted to read from every conceivable denomination and theology... read more
I Don't Have to Be "The Most Beautiful Girl" in the Room

I Don't Have to Be "The Most Beautiful Girl" in the Room

What do you think when you look in the mirror, my precious sister? I am an identical twin. I know the pain of being CONSTANTLY compared to someone else in every single way. Other people compared us all day long every day. And we compared ourselves, too. You never want to be the ugly twin, the fat twin, the stupid twin, etc… What a destructive way to live! Constantly comparing ourselves to other people. It is enough to be myself – my new self in Christ. It is enough to be who God made me to be. It is enough that God loves me and I am His. When I belong to Christ, I am free from this world and its ways of thinking. I don’t have to be a slave to fashion, to the beauty industry, to worldly ideas about beauty, or to the comparing game anymore!!!!! WOOHOO! I don’t have to reveal my body to everyone. I can show respect for myself, for my sexuality, for God, and for others by dressing modestly. I don’t have to “show the world what I’ve got.” I don’t have to try to win the approval of other people. I don’t have to care if they like how I look or not. God loves variety. Every flower is beautiful to Him. Every creature brings Him delight and glory. Every person is precious and beautiful to Him. We don’t have to look a certain way for Him to accept us. Our worth is not in our appearance, my precious sisters! Our worth doesn’t come from anything this world can measure. My worth... read more

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