Here is a test to see where you are as as a godly woman in God’s eyes.
Please approach this test very prayerfully.
This may be painful. Whenever there are things God wants to convict us about – it is definitely painful. I am not asking questions to bring guilt or worldly sorrow that leads to death. My prayer is that if God shows you something that He desires to change in your life, that you might be open to His Spirit working in you. The pain can be intense at first, but then if you have godly sorrow over your sin, that leads to humility, true repentance and then the ABUNDANT LIFE of Christ and spiritual riches and treasures beyond your wildest imagination!
In Christ, you can truly be set free from your sinful nature and from specific sins and live in the power of His Spirit with His supernatural love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control flooding through your soul and bursting out of your life every day. That is the life I want for you and that is the life God wants for you. Thankfully, He shows us the way to get there!
Please get out a piece of paper and mark a tally for any of these items on Part 1 that apply in your heart about your marriage on a daily or weekly basis:
- I think about having a boyfriend or being married constantly. I think if only I had a committed Christian man in my life, I would be content. All of my problems would be solved!
- I drown my disappointment in life and my emotional/spiritual pain in alcohol/drugs/workaholism/perfectionism/control/spending money/addictions.
- I set my heart on things that I just KNOW will make me happy. If I could just have X, everything would be great.
- I have a lot of anger, resentment, unforgiveness and bitterness towards other people. I hold grudges.
- I want to forgive sometimes, but it just seems impossible to really forgive. I have been hurt too much.
- I talk about my man or my friends/family in a negative way to other people. I feel like I am trapped and powerless to do anything to change my situation – and I just have to get the weight of all of this off of my chest by venting to my friends, family and coworkers. Then they’ll see how wrong the other person is and they will understand why I have to act the way I do.
- I encourage other women to talk negatively about their men/families/friends.
- I am primarily concerned with my rights, my desires, my wants and getting my way. If I don’t get what I want, I am going to explain why I should get what I want until the other person gives me what I want. I am pretty insistent on doing things my way.
- If I am provoked, I will scream, cuss, throw things, call names or say hateful things to people in my life – even the waitress or the customer service manager at the grocery store. If people would just treat me right, I would be able to be more respectful. I am not responsible for my responses to others when they mistreat me.
- I compare my life to the lives of others and feel like I have gotten a rotten deal in life. I deserve so much more than this.
- I look at porn or flirt with men who are not believers or who are married. I need some male attention. Flirting never hurt anyone. Sex outside of marriage is no big deal.
- I like to dress to turn men’s heads.
- I like to use sarcasm and am pretty skilled at making those closest to me the target of my jokes and criticism.
- I often point out the things that other people do wrong.
- I complain when I don’t like something.
- I have a lot of regrets about how I treat people.
- I want things to be perfect, and tend to focus on things that aren’t right in others and in our home so I can fix them and make things as perfect as possible.
- I tell God that my man needs to change and needs to change NOW. He is impossible to live with.
- My man is not a good spiritual leader. I tell him all the things he needs to do to be more godly, but he won’t listen to me. Nothing seems to change.
- I am ok with dating an unbeliever or a weak Christian because I know my love will change him.
- If I want something, I am going to do whatever it takes to have it.
- I believe that I am always right and others are always wrong. If people would just do what I say, everything would be fine!
- When I am hormonal, I feel totally out of control and I think, say and do the most awful things.
- I expect a man to make me happy and be responsible for my emotions. If I am upset, it is his job to fix it.
- My mind is always swirling with worry and fear about the future and how I am going to make things work out right.
- I only have peace for a few moments, and then my mind uncontrollably keeps playing the same “videos” over and over again of things people have done to hurt me or things that I am worried and afraid about. I feel very anxious a lot of times.
- If I don’t make things work out right, everything will be a disaster.
- I am very concerned about what my parents, siblings, friends and even strangers think about me. I try to make everyone around me happy. It is exhausting! I hate for other people to be upset with me.
- If I don’t tell people what to do and how to do it, everything will fall apart!
Please start a new section or column and make a tally mark beside all of these items in Part 2 that generally apply on a frequent (weekly or daily) basis in your life (I am assuming that if you are dating a man that he is a strong believer in Christ!):
- I am able to respond with love and respect even when others are unloving or unkind to me.
- I have joy in Christ no matter what other people do or don’t do.
- It is really important to me to spend significant amounts of time in prayer and in God’s Word every day. I can’t make it without that time!
- I have my heart completely set on Jesus – I want HIM, His will and His glory more than anything else in my life by a long shot.
- I rarely lose my temper.
- I understand how to treat a man with respect and seek to show him unconditional respect out of reverence for God and His Word.
- I set an atmosphere of peace wherever I am. Being with me is emotionally and spiritually an oasis and sanctuary for others.
- I do not raise my voice, roll my eyes or sigh when I disagree with others. I know I am responsible to God for my response to others no matter what they have done to me.
- I appreciate my man (if I have a believing boyfriend) and am thankful for him on a daily basis.
- I have a grateful spirit and practice thinking about the countless number of blessings God has given me each day.
- If my godly boyfriend has concerns, I listen to him carefully and try to cooperate with his wisdom.
- I view suffering as an opportunity to grow in my faith and to draw nearer to Christ and shine for Him.
- When my boyfriend is having a bad day, I try to think of something I can do to cheer him up, surprise him or take some stress off of his shoulders.
- I like serving my man. It’s an honor. I’m glad to do it.
- My goal is to please Christ – the opinions of other people don’t really matter much to me compared to seeking praise from God.
- I see the good in other people and use my words to praise, encourage and affirm others.
- I am thankful for the chance to make my house a home and to take care of it. It is a way I show love and respect for those around me/my roommates/my family.
- I don’t freak out about small things, but am able to roll with the punches when unexpected problems crop up.
- I don’t get upset if my man leaves a mess sometimes. I’m so glad he’s in my life and we get to live together.
- If I want something, I ask for what I want politely, respectfully, with a pleasant tone of voice and a smile.
- If I don’t get what I want, I am gracious and accepting of “no” and “wait.” I am more concerned with God’s will than my will.
- If things go wrong, I am generally able to respond with grace, peace and joy and keep things in proper perspective.
- I am careful not to develop close friendships with other men if I am in a committed relationship leading to marriage. I guard and protect my heart.
- If someone responds to me harshly, I answer gently.
- I don’t make provision for the flesh – I know my limits physically with my boyfriend and guard my sexuality and chastity for marriage.
- I speak highly of my boyfriend to other people.
- I very rarely argue with or complain to others.
- I have faith in my man. I know I can trust him. (Or, I am working to rebuild lost trust and I want to learn to trust him again.)
- I have faith that God will lead me through my man, especially once we are married, even if my husband-to-be sometimes makes mistakes.
- I trust God to speak to my guy and grow him spiritually without me having to verbally prod him or lecture my husband about spiritual things. I trust God to open my man’s spiritual eyes. I know that only God can change people and wake them to His truth.
- I try to have a spirit of saying, “yes!” to things that are important to my boyfriend.
- I am trustworthy.
- I consciously work to do good to my man no matter what happens.
- I watch my words, my tone of voice, my facial expressions and my actions to be sure that I bless others, especially my boyfriend, and don’t become nasty, hateful, unkind or negative.
- I trust God in His sovereignty to work everything out ultimately for my good (by His definition) and for His glory, so I don’t freak out when bad things happen. I know that God is in control and I can’t lose. I might have to suffer or go through pain, but as long as I have God’s Spirit, I know I will be ok.
- I don’t worry about the future. I take my needs and concerns to God and and I leave the weight of the problems there and trust God and my husband to figure things out. I say what I want and what I believe is best. I share my perspective with God and my guy. Then I rest in God’s love and peace, trusting His wisdom. And I rest in my boyfriend’s love – trusting God to lead me through him.
This test comes from Galatians 5:19-23. It reveals whether my sinful nature or God’s Spirit is in control of my life.
- Part 1 shows what I am like when my sinful nature has control.
- Part 2 is what I am like when God’s Spirit has control.
How did you do on the quiz?
If you checked ANY of the items in Part 1 – WOW! Do I relate to you!
I could have probably only checked items in Part 1 for the first 15 years of my marriage. That is because my sinful nature was in very firmly in control back then. I had no idea how to have a Spirit-filled life. I thought I was living as a strong Christian. Unfortunately, a lot of the fruit of my life did not support my belief that I was living in God’s power and walking in obedience to Him.
If I have ANY checks in Part 1, those are areas where God wants to work and radically change my heart and mind. He wants me to die to my old sinful self, nail it to the cross, and live in the new self that Christ gives me.
Don’t worry – we will walk this road together.
God is about to do some amazing things in your life if you are willing to trust Him!
It’s about to get good. 🙂
If you only checked items in Part 2 – you probably know most of what I am going to share already. Obviously, God is very much at work in your life and His Spirit is in control. That is AWESOME! I pray that God might continue to work in you to make you more and more like Christ.
God desires us ALL to be women who live only in the Part 2 area every day. We can’t do this on our own.
But if we trust God, seek Him above all else and allow Him to empower us – He can and will transform each of us into the godly women of His dreams!
This is a process. The process of sanctification. The process of God transforming us into the image of Christ. It is not instantaneous. That’s ok. Just be open to God and willing to do things His way each baby step of the way. Get up when you stumble. Repent and turn back to Him humbly. Seek and desire Jesus above everything. He will do the changing.