No one in the world – humanly speaking – has as much influence and power to bless or destroy a man as his girlfriend/fiance/wife has.
Many women have no idea where their power is or how to harness it for good.
Some of us try to change our men by verbal force. I did that for over 14 years. But the truth is – we can’t change them. That’s actually a good thing. When someone tries to change a healthy man – he will resist. A man who is willing to be controlled by a woman is not emotionally/spiritually healthy.
God did not give us power to change our men. He gave us something INFINITELY BETTER.
He gave us the power to inspire our men to want to be all that God designed them to be.
We don’t do that by demanding, criticizing, humiliating, nagging, preaching, complaining, ordering or coercing our men by verbal attacks and insults. These things destroy and crush our men’s souls. Men are very sensitive to our disrespect. Even just a look of contempt or disdain or a hateful tone of voice can crush their spirits.
Rick Johnson in “How to Talk So Your Husband Will Listen and Listen So Your Husband Will Talk” – says “like any great power, you have to learn how to use it properly and respect the damage it can cause. As a woman you can build a man up or tear him down merely by the level of respect you give to him and the amount of faith you have in him. Your tongue wields greater power than any double-edged sword… It takes much more work and effort to build something than it does to destroy it… That’s a big responsibility and a power that many women do not recognize…. There’s not much a man can’t deal with in life if he knows he can come home to a loving, supportive wife who respects him.”
Many women think that if we respect our men and honor their leadership that we lose our voice and power as women. But that is not how God’s design works at all!
The only power we lose is the power of our sinful nature to destroy. When we are living in total submission to Christ and full of His Spirit, we have the power and riches of heaven blasting through our souls and pouring through us to bless our men and everyone around us. There is no greater power in the universe than the omnipotent, sovereign, mighty power of God!
A minister at my church who is teaching a class on spiritual authority says that Satan’s definition of “freedom” is the ability to do whatever we want. He says that God’s definition of “freedom” is having the power to do what God desires us to do.
God gives us the freedom, desire and power to inspire our men to become the heroes God designed them to be as we become more and more the women God designed us to be.