Here is an area where a lot of women tend to be VERY weak. And that is a big problem! So let’s look at how to accept a compliment properly and why not accepting a compliment graciously does major relationship damage.
BASIC COMPLIMENT ACCEPTING ETIQUETTE:
Someone gives you a compliment, “That color is so pretty on you!” “You look gorgeous!” “What a beautiful outfit.”
Here is what you do
1. SMILE sincerely
2. say “Thank you SO much!”
3. do not add anything to negate the complement or explain it away!!!! This is critical. Don’t say, “Thank you so much! But you know, it really makes my stomach look pudgy.” NOPE! Do not add something negative when someone gives you a compliment.
WHAT IS A COMPLIMENT?
A compliment is a verbal gift. Just like if someone offers you a gift box wrapped in a beautiful bow – the polite, respectful, loving thing to do is to accept the gift graciously (and not complain!) – the same principle holds true for compliments.
Your gift the the one giving you the compliment is your gracious receiving of the compliment.
I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE RECEIVING COMPLIMENTS
If you argue with the person who compliments you – it is disrespectful! And that person is going to remember not to give you many compliments in the future.
Now if the person you are arguing with is a guy you like or your boyfriend or fiancé – he still deserves to be able to give you a generous compliment and see you light up with delight and gratitude – without arguing or saying something to negate the compliment.
It is not prideful to thank him for his kind compliment. Author Bob Grant likes to say, “Men are at their best when they are giving, and women are at their best when they are receiving.” Please give your man the gift of your delight and please BELIEVE him when he compliments you.
WHY DO OUR MEN COMPLIMENT US?
They usually compliment us because they really believe what they are saying is true. It is super disrespectful for me to argue with my husband if he says I’m beautiful, sexy, pretty – whatever – and I tell him I’m not. Then I am actually saying he is a liar. That is not the message I want to send.
The mature, godly thing to do here is to believe him, be gracious and enjoy that my man thinks I am beautiful.
WHAT IS OUR HANG UP?
We as women get so caught up in our perceived “flaws.” But our men seriously don’t usually even see those things we obsess over so much. God gave us our beautiful bodies. We can have confidence in our identity in Christ. We can have confidence in God’s love for us and that we are daughters of the King of kings and Lord of lords. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is NO good or beneficial reason to dwell on things we don’t like about our bodies.
Let’s be thankful for the bodies God gave us. And let’s be thankful that our men see us as being beautiful. It’s ok to just enjoy that, be confident in the love of Christ for us and not question our worth and beauty. 🙂