About a week and a half ago or so – I had some posts that generated a lot of comments from the men. I usually try my best NOT to censor people’s comments. I want this to be a place of open and respectful dialogue between men and women. My prayer is that God might empower my Christian sisters to better understand our brothers in Christ, to empathize with them, to learn how they think and feel and how very different they are from us. My prayer is that we might learn to appreciate the differences God designed to be inherent in masculinity and femininity and to help women learn to relate to men and understand men in deeper ways than maybe they have before.
One day, the comments from some of the men got particularly angry. It appears I touched quite a nerve with the guys. I tried to encourage everyone to speak respectfully and with the love of Christ and to pursue unity in Christ together. But some of the comments were so angry, I just couldn’t publish them at all. And there were some comments that I decided to unapprove because they were pretty harsh and generalizing “all women” as being a certain way.
I don’t want to disrespect men on my site – but I don’t want to disrespect women, either! I love my sisters AND my brothers!
This site is primarily for Christian single women – so this place simply MUST be a place where women feel they can ask questions and discuss things without feeling intimidated or disrespected. How can I teach women if they are afraid to make comments?
One of the Christian single men, RG, whom I greatly respect – had posted a comment that was a lot more angry than normal (not anywhere near as angry as some of the comments, by the way). I took it down before too long that day.
Something I desire for the ladies to understand is this:
When you see a man who is very angry about some of the topics we are discussing – you are seeing a man who has suffered deep emotional/spiritual wounds from Christian women or women in general. Look past the anger and see the terrible hurt and pain. Some of our precious brothers have been GREATLY misunderstood, ignored, ridiculed, rejected and disrespected by MANY women who claim Christ. I am not talking about a few socially awkward guys – this is much more common that we would ever imagine today, and it breaks my heart.
I long to see all Christian women treat our brothers in Christ with compassion, respect, dignity and the love of Christ. And, of course, I long to see all Christian men treat their sisters with compassion, respect, dignity and the love of Christ, as well.
RG reached out to me and shared this, asking me to share it with all of you:
Please extend my apology to the ladies who read your blog. They don’t deserve any of my anger or frustration. I know they are truly precious women with good intent, who likely do want to honor God with their hearts and lives, and would benefit more from loving and constructive comments. I regret any hurt I may have caused them with my words. They should be loved and valued, and lifted up as cherished sisters and fellow heirs of the Kingdom of God.
I will lay down my sword and share my views with them in a way that challenges, encourages, and inspires them to become the women God would want them to be. I also need to remember that most Christian women really don’t know how men think, and that they really aren’t actively trying to hurt us.
Please forgive me!
I have to say – I greatly admire RG for the courage it takes to publicly apologize like this. That is a man I can admire. It shows me that he has integrity. In fact, what RG has done here is a sign of very godly leadership. He took HUGE initiative to seek reconciliation and to seek to make amends. I’m so thankful for all that God is doing in RG’s life and for this beautiful example of godly masculine leadership and repentance. I love that he made no excuses for himself and that he wants to bridge the gap and be a blessing and seek to understand his sisters in Christ.
When a godly man sins – he will humbly repent. Humility is an essential Christlike quality for all of us.
How I pray that God might make us all more and more like Jesus!
If you are with a man who claims he is never wrong and he never sins and he never has to apologize or repent – that is not a good thing. Please seek godly counsel if you are in that situation!