I have seen countless women who believe ideas like:
- If I could just feel that a man was attracted to me, I would be happy.
- If I could just have a steady boyfriend, I would be happy.
- If I could just be engaged, I would be happy.
- If I could just have the wedding of my dreams, I would be happy.
- If I could just be married, I would be happy.
- If I could just have a beautiful house, I would be happy.
- If I could just have children, I would be happy.
- If my man would just talk with me more, I would be happy.
- If my man would just be more romantic, I would be happy.
- If I just felt loved by someone, I would be happy.
- If I just made more money, I would be happy.
Here is the thing, my precious sisters…
- These are all great things.
- They are gifts from God when we pursue them with the right frame of mind and heart.
I would love for all of you to get to experience these blessings in your lives, if it is God’s will for you. But, please hear me – I have been down this road …
- without having Jesus Christ as your Lord and without finding all of your contentment in Him, NONE of these other things can ever bring real satisfaction, contentment, joy and happiness.
The truth is that if you are not content now, you wouldn’t be content even if you had any or all of these other things.
Re-read that big sentence in bold again.
I didn’t EVER understand this until I had been married for years. I WISH I had understood this powerful truth before I even got married!
There are millions of women right now who THOUGHT that they would find contentment and “happily ever after” in marriage to the man they married. But it turns out that they married sinners. And they themselves are sinners. A relationship between sinners is painful and hard sometimes. Humans disappoint us. We disappoint others, too. If all of your hope is in a man and/or in children or in things of this world alone, you are in trouble. Look in the tabloids. Every day you will see people who “have it all” – marriage, children a dream home – and they are miserable. Worldly and earthly things and people cannot satisfy the deepest needs of our souls for God.
Your level of contentment will stay the same when you get married as it is right now, or it may even drop, especially if your source of contentment is in worldly things or people.
Actually, if you are truly looking to a man, marriage, sex or children to bring you contentment, there is a fantastically high chance that if you were to have those things, you would be even LESS content than you are right now. Because, right now, you may be holding out hope that if you could just have these things that you don’t have at the moment, then you would be happy. But when we set our hearts on finding all of our joy, fulfillment, identity, purpose and satisfaction in another person or earthly things, we will be extremely let down.
The key to contentment is not your circumstances, the key is to find fulfillment, purpose, joy, identity, acceptance, power and love in Christ Jesus alone – regardless of ever-changing circumstances. Your level of contentment comes from your character and the spiritual life that is inside of you. It doesn’t come from things that are outside of your heart. YOU control your level of contentment now and you control it in the future regardless of your circumstances.
When you have Jesus in the right place in your life – these other things are wonderful additions. They are “icing on the cake.” But if you are looking to a man, marriage, money, stuff, beauty, sex, romance, a luxurious house, fashion, worldly power, a career or children to “make you” be happy, I can guarantee you that you will be disappointed. Often.
Things and other people can’t make you be happy. Honestly, temporary happiness cannot be the greatest goal in our lives. Happiness is based on present circumstances. God desires to give us real satisfaction, contentment and joy that is eternal and unwavering that continues even in the midst of great trials and suffering. Our temporary happiness is not God’s greatest goal for us.
- He wants us to know Himself, to love Him and to love others.
- He wants to bring glory to Himself through our lives.
Those are God’s greatest goals (Romans 8:28-29, Matthew 28:38-39 and all of the Old and New Testaments).
My greatest prayer for each of you is that you might find true contentment in the sufficiency of Christ Jesus alone. THAT is the only way there is in this universe to have real joy, contentment, satisfaction and fulfillment.
Once you have Jesus in His proper place, and you are completely yielded and fully submitted and devoted to Him, realizing that He alone is THE GREATEST TREASURE in the universe, you can have other things in their proper place in your life, too. And then they become blessings instead of sources of great disappointment and frustration. Our God is so good. He will NEVER let us find contentment and satisfaction in earthly things apart from Himself. That is a GOOD THING. Our disappointment, frustration and pain force us to realize that what we have is not enough, and hopefully, will help spur us on to seek for Christ Jesus – the only One who can truly satisfy the deepest needs of our souls – with all our hearts.
How I long for each of you to cherish and treasure Christ Jesus far above anything and everything else in the world. How I long to help you see that you can be content in Him RIGHT NOW where you are. He is GOOD. He is trustworthy. He is completely worthy of all of our worship, sacrifice, devotion, obedience, praise, reverence, healthy fear and love. He is the only true power source. When we are constantly plugged into Him, He floods our hearts and souls with His Spirit’s power and He transforms us into new creatures with new hearts, minds and souls. He makes us more and more like Himself. We begin to hate what He hates and love what He loves. As we delight ourselves in Him, He transforms our desires to match His own. Then He grants us the desires of our hearts as we make Him the greatest desire we have.
Then from a position of great strength and power in Christ, we can begin to allow Him to build in us His brand of godly femininity and His understanding and wisdom about relationships and His love. Then we can build a relationship with a godly man in God’s timing, by His design for His glory.
That is what this life is all about for us as disciples of Christ – God’s greatest glory!
And as we seek God’s greatest glory, He will fill us with His deepest joy, peace, passion and abundant spiritual life whether we are single or married – no matter what our current circumstances are! You can be content and full of God’s supernatural joy and peace, my precious sisters! I pray you will discover contentment in Christ and that you will trust Him fully and allow Him to heal you and regenerate your heart by His Spirit’s power.