- He warned me what kind of man he was – he didn’t want me to be under any illusions about him.
- He told me twice he was emotionally cold and unromantic.
- He said it was just a bit of fun, and it would have to end if there was any attachment.
He laid it down fair and square. It wasn’t his fault, as my sister pointed out, if I went on to have romantic notions about him.
- I was just as selfish as he was, really. I wanted the romance thing, but I didn’t want HIM.
- I would’ve freaked out if he’d fallen for me and wanted to leave his family. I’d have dumped him just like that.
- Am I capable of love? Do I know what God’s love is? Have I experienced God’s love, REAL love?
- Is my perspective all about me? Or do I have compassion on others? Am I thinking about what God wants and what would honor God? Am I thinking about what is best for other people, including the men around me?
- Is romantic love a game to me?
- What have I learned about love, romance and marriage that is worldly and ungodly and destructive?
- What am I missing about who God is and who I am?
- Do I understand God’s love for people?
- Do I have God’s love for people?
- Have I really received Christ as my Savior and Lord?
- What wisdom of God am I missing that I need to study and learn about?
- Is romance an idol for me? If so, how do I tear that idol down? (Breaking the Romance Addiction)
- Do I use men? Do I just want what I want from them – attention, sex, romance, a ring, a wedding, marriage, children – but not care about them as people? That is NOT ok!
- Do I understand that men are people of value and great worth – they are image bearers of God. They are not objects to be used to get what I want?
- Do I know what godly femininity is?
- Do I know what godly masculinity is?
- Do I know how to have a healthy relationship with a guy?
- What scars and wounds do I need to heal from?
One thing I want to focus on today is – if a man tells you things about himself – negative things – PLEASE BELIEVE HIM.
Don’t think you can change him. Don’t think that he is just joking. He is probably being totally upfront with you. These are your warning signs to get away.
If a man says things like:
- I don’t want commitment
- I don’t want to get married
- I don’t want to settle down
- I am not romantic, I just want sex
- I’m married, but let’s have a good time together
- Don’t get attached to me
- I just want to have a little fun with you, nothing serious
- I’m not into God
- I just go to church to pick up girls
- I’ll hurt you/disappoint if you get too close to me (emotionally)
- I’m a bad guy/I’m not a good guy
- I always get my way with women
Believe him. In most cases, it would probably be wise to bow out of the relationship ASAP!
If a guy is saying good things, but is living another way – believe his actions over his words!
If a man is trying to get you sexually/physically involved with him in a casual way – don’t give an explanation. Just RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, GIRL! A little romance and tingly butterflies in your stomach is NOT worth the price here!
God’s design for sex is only in marriage. Indulging in sex in any other way is sin and it is destructive spiritually, emotionally and physically to us and to the men we are involved with.
ANOTHER THING I WANT TO FOCUS ON TODAY:
When there is a temptation, God always provides a way out from the temptation. Notice how this girl had opportunities to see the disaster that was coming and to get out. But she didn’t.
- A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. Proverbs 22:3 NLT
Be alert. Stay close to God. Be in His Word. Be humble before Him. Repent of all known sin as soon as you recognize it. Surrender yourself fully to Christ each day. Live for His will and His glory. Surround yourself with godly friends. Have a godly, wise mentoring woman in your life if possible! Have godly accountability partners. Seek your parents’ wisdom, especially if they are believers. But even if they aren’t believers, they can often see disaster coming and warn you about it.