The man who wrote this comment has allowed me to share it with you. He was commenting on the post, Your Words Can Cause Catastrophic Damage. There are some quotes from me in that post (in purple) that he is responding to. PLEASE, hear this man’s heart.
Open our eyes to the ways we are coming across disrespectfully and hurtfully to Christian men – especially potential dates and boyfriends.
Help us to treat all of our Christian brothers with godly love and respect – whether we are dating them or not – and let us treat them in ways that bring You great honor and glory! Amen.
“If he DOES find out what you said – he will be extremely hurt and his trust in you could be shattered. Your hateful words about him to someone else may well destroy your relationship with the man you love.”
“As soon as you see yourself as a victim – you are powerless to do anything constructive.”
Gossip and disrespect don’t just have the ability to “hurt” him or “destroy the relationship,” they can destroy many other parts of his life as well, including how he views himself and relates to others in all areas of his life. This can affect his confidence and self-esteem. This could cripple his ability to find a new relationship with a woman later, perform well at work, (or if on FB) it could potentially destroy his career altogether, which of course could cause other areas of his life to collapse.
From Peacefulwife – for men with certain careers, a girlfriend or ex-girlfriend who blasts her man on FB could DEFINITELY impact a man’s career, keep him from getting promoted and sometimes cause him to lose his job. ESPECIALLY if the man is in ministry or in the public eye – a woman’s ability to keep the details of their relationship private and to show respect in public are critical for his current and future career! Do you realize, that having a wife who is disrespectful and rebellious against her husband actually disqualifies Christian men from leadership positions in the church in the New Testament? The time to begin showing respect in public for men is before you even begin dating, and it becomes more and more important as the relationship progresses towards marriage.
I find it interesting how women can justify speaking evil about their boyfriends/husbands (even to their face), break up with their men at the drop-of-a-hat over small or imaginary issues, then later stand in harsh judgement and ridicule, even shaming other men when they encounter men with less confidence or self-esteem than they feel they deserve. They never seem to realize that when they see such men, it could likely be because some other woman destroyed him the same way they do.
One woman cripples him, and the next one laughs at him for being a cripple. It can be hard for such a man not to see himself as the victim. These men have to teach themselves to “shut up” and “man up” and “deal with it” on their own, because they learn nobody seems to care, and that they will never receive real value, sympathy, or respect from others by asking for it. When women see wounded men, they see reasons NOT to respect them. Expressing “hurt” or “pain” to women only hands them additional ammunition with which to shoot him down.
“I have seen countless women rage against their ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands – many others actually pity the men in those situations for having to deal with a woman who is that hateful, contentious, prideful, disrespectful and ungodly. It makes the WOMAN look like she is out-of-control crazy. No one wants to see that!”
I have seen at least a few women (who I knew and respected at church) bash men on FB (either their man or men in general). It shows me VERY quickly that I can’t trust them anymore, and should limit how much I talk with them or spend time near them. I didn’t even bother to mention their posts on FB because (right or wrong) I didn’t even want to deal with the drama of “correcting” them. It likely wouldn’t have made any difference, and they would just have someone new to write about on FB.
“So many women say, “I would be respectful if I had a good man.” That is not true! Whether we are disrespectful or respectful has NOTHING to do with what our men do to us – it has everything to do with our spiritual condition and whether we are Spirit-filled or controlled by the sin nature.”
This one actually makes me laugh because I’ve seen women completely disrespect some of the best men I’ve ever known, and they still think there are oceans of “princes” out there who would want to to pursue women as horrid and disrespectful as them. It doesn’t work! Women can’t bash all the men in their lives and still expect a “prince charming” to tolerate that behavior.
If you want a good man, you have to be good first!
Women shouldn’t disrespect all the men in their lives, then wonder where all the good men are. They shouldn’t disrespect all the men in their lives and think that a good man would ever want to be in a relationship with them.
It’s as simple as that.
RG – THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for sharing a masculine perspective with us. Many women have NO idea how differently men think, feel and process and many women definitely don’t know how we are perceived by men. I know that this post will be hard to hear for some of us, but I believe these are things we NEED to know and need to hear. And I pray that God might speak to us through this man’s willingness to give us a peek into his mind, heart and soul.