When we refuse to let go of things that we put above Christ in our hearts – even good things – we set ourselves on a path of depression, anxiety, fear, misery, loneliness, discouragement, discontentment and separation from God.
If I say, “I HAVE to have a boyfriend/husband/marriage/family/romance – and I will do ANYTHING to get it!” And I refuse to be willing to find contentment in Christ alone, I will miss the blessings of God, the joy and peace of God, the presence of God, the power of God, the miracles of God… and I will be stuck alone with my own sin, depressed, isolated, angry, bitter and hardened.
Something else that happens, that we often don’t realize, is that when we make having a husband/family into an idol – we come across in a very DESPERATE, NEEDY and CLINGY way to men. That repels men. Guys know when a girl has being married and having children as an idol. They can detect that a woman isn’t actually interested in them, but in what the man can give to them – a wedding, a home, children, a marriage, etc. Godly men are not attracted to women who put marriage/children above Christ in their hearts.
Another thing we may not realize is that if we actually DID get married to a man and we had him, marriage and children as idols – we will destroy our marriage. We will never be content. Being married won’t be enough. We will want our husbands to make us feel loved in specific ways and to change to be what we want them to be to “make us happy.” The more we try to change our men, the more we repel them. And the more they see that we don’t actually respect them, we just want to use them to get what we want, the more fragile the marriage will become. Then, if we can’t have children or our husbands decide not to have children, we will want to divorce our husbands because we can’t have what we really want – children. I see this OFTEN! Wives end up bitter and full of resentment because their husband said he wanted children before marriage, but then they got married and the husband changed his mind. The wives, who had children/marriage as idols, sink deeper into discontentment and continue on in their idolatry. If they do have children, they often put the children above the husband and also take over in the marriage – and the husband ends up becoming unplugged and uninvolved and distant. Sometimes temptation enters the picture. The marriage is not built on the solid rock of Christ and His Word – it is built on sinking sand and it will collapse in time unless the whole thing is rebuilt on Christ.
There is NEVER a happy end to idolatry! Idolatry always destroys us, our relationship with God and with people.
So, the very thing we want the most becomes even more difficult to obtain when we put it as our greatest desire in life above Christ. God will NEVER let us find contentment in anything but Himself. We will only find disappointment when we set our hearts on other things.
It is only when we put Christ first in His proper place, that His Spirit floods us with His peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control and we would be most attractive to truly godly men.
Desiring a husband and children is not wrong. Those are GOOD things. BUT – if we desire them above Christ – that is idolatry and it is major sin. It will destroy us. I don’t want any of you to experience the pain that idolatry brings. I long for you all to experience the abundant peace, love, joy, presence and power of God in your lives as you abide in Him, grow in Him and become more and more like Christ and I long for you to experience all the blessings, miracles and treasures of heaven as you walk in obedience, loving God with all your hearts, minds, souls and strength.
The key, in my view, is to be able to genuinely say, “Not my will, but Yours be done!” And to be willing to allow God to determine our course, even if it is not what we think we want or if we have to wait.