Ladies –

I am hearing from countless women who married men they KNEW were addicted to porn. Big mistake!

  • He says he’s a Christian
  • He uses porn every day/multiple times a week

Porn is addictive and works just like a drug. Yes, God can heal men – but this thing is TOUGH to treat and very easy to relapse – especially since it is so easy to obtain porn in secret in your own home.  Most of these young wives were also having sex before marriage – another huge cause of MAJOR sexual problems in marriage (but that is for another post!).

Please understand – a husband who is addicted to porn will probably NOT want sex that much with his wife. And he will probably not be content with his wife’s body or with their sexual relationship. The problem with addictions is that it takes a greater and greater potency of a drug or substance to keep achieving the same high. Porn is the same way. It takes more and more extreme pictures to keep maintaining that high until men (and women who are addicted) need to add violence or increasing levels of perversion to keep the high going. And then eventually, many men move to strippers, and then to prostitutes or affairs.

This stuff DESTROYS marriages and families.
If you know that a guy is addicted to porn – please insist that he gets help and accountability (other than you) BEFORE marriage and wait to see that he is able to stay close to God for some extended period of months or a year or so.If you DO marry him – please understand that you will have major struggles with sex because of his situation and that you will likely feel personally violated whenever he turns to porn. You must be prepared to extend grace and forgive many times.God CAN and DOES give victory over porn – but it is a TOUGH road. Please read up on it and be sure you understand what you are signing up for if you marry a man with this addiction (idol). And keep in mind that when he is engaged in porn – he won’t have God’s Spirit in control and he won’t be able to love you like Christ loves His church and lead selflessly. You will still be commanded by God to respect him and cooperate with his leadership (when he is not asking you to commit or condone sin).

I know that most young men have used porn at least occasionally – most of them start in their younger teen years. This is a lifelong addiction. It is very destructive. Don’t think that it is a harmless habit that won’t bother your marriage. Your eyes need to be WIDE OPEN on this issue, ladies!

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