Have you ever felt like you drew the short stick being a female? I sure have. Have you ever felt like God must favor males? That would be me again. I have never been angry because I am girl, but I have felt as if it were a sort of punishment. I did not realize that being a woman is a gift until I started the journey to embrace my femininity.
I have written before that I am very girly by nature, but this journey to become a godly woman was not about liking makeup, doing hair, wearing dresses, or hating dirt. I think we often mistake being girly with being feminine.
Having godly femininity:
- is not about whether or not makeup is fun for me or a chore for me.
- is not about whether or not I enjoy styling my hair every day or I let it air dry and don’t know or care to know about styling products.
- is not about whether or not we catch the most men’s eyes or have the most offers for dates.
It is about having a heart that longs to please our Savior. It is about not just tolerating, but embracing our God-given gender.
I used to think “Well, I will respect my husband and brothers because God calls me to do it.” Make no mistake; God calling us to do something is by far a good enough reason. However, I hate that for so long I looked at submission and femininity as a duty and chore, rather than a privilege. I thought being female was my cross to bear. I never hated being a girl; I love being a girl. I just dreaded all the duties that came with being a woman.
I thought it was terrible that I would have to one day (if marriage is God’s will for me) submit to man. In my mind submission was all about rules and giving up what I so wrongly assumed were my rights. You know – my right of having a man submit to my way of thinking because I obviously know what is best for me and everyone I love. Yuck!
Now, I realize that submission is not about giving up my rights. It is about surrendering my will to Christ.
God’s will is not for me to be married to a man who not a Christian, who is abusive, who twists and distorts His word. God’s will is for me to be married to a man who is surrendered to God’s will for both his life and mine.
When I am seeking God’s will for my own life, it is often not what I think it should be in my flesh. Why on earth would I expect for that to change based on the fact that I am married? If I am truly surrendered to Christ, I do not fear not having my way or my rights. I trust that God will protect me, guide me, and avenge me.
Not only that, but because I am a woman, I get the amazing privilege of being an inspiration. I get to inspire my man to want to reach his potential in the kingdom.
Wow!
If God does not have marriage in my future, I still get to embrace this gift. I get to encourage and lift up my brothers. Oh, how I long to see our brothers embraced, loved, and encouraged to be great men of God. Ladies, we have been given such a gift. We get to pray for our brothers. I didn’t realize the power of praying for our brothers until recently. I’ve always prayed for people, but making them personal just does something. It is our most powerful weapon and one of the most encouraging things we can do for them.
Most of us ladies love to chat. Why not use our words to encourage and uplift? Instead of talking about what men do wrong, why don’t we pray for them to encouraged, convicted (by God – not what we think), empowered, and strengthened? Imagine what God could accomplish through our brothers (and sisters), by us praying for them through the power of the Holy Spirit. Imagine how much they would want to do and serve when we are encouraging and cheering them on? What a blessing that we get this awesome privilege. I love the thought of being inspiration!
I cherish the times when God uses my words to inspire and bless. I love when a friend of mine is a bit down and God gives me words to say to encourage them. It makes me excited to know I have been used by God to brighten their day. I now realize that I have that same feeling amplified when someone is encouraged by my prayers inspired by the Holy Spirit! I get to combine my love for God, my love of encouraging, my love of words, and my desire to honor Christ all in one!!! It blows me away. I just want to pray for people and lift them up so much now. I get really excited about it. And, I love that God uses me to bless others. Again, what a beautiful, precious, amazing gift we have been given!
What has excited and amazed you on your journey to godly femininity?
That my words have so much power to bless, to change the vibe around me. I still have so much work I must enter to quiet phase.
Shy,
Ladies generally “set the emotional thermostat” in a relationship. We can make the relationship warm, safe, peaceful, inviting, and nuturing. Or we can make it a war zone.
Praying for God to empower you to use your femininity to bless!
April,
I’m still trying to learn to trust God fully. I can tell I don’t by my daily actions. I also have a problem with negative talk. I wake up and say ” Today is the day you will speak life.” Then I say something negative 5 mins later. This peaceful stuff is so hard and I feel like a failure. Accessing the power of God is so hard to do. I’ve been trying to read at least one of your blogs a day along with my bible but something is not clicking. I’m still worried that I’m aging and I know Satan loves to send counterfeits when we don’t focus on God alone.
Shy,
Please read or listen to Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray. I just read it last week -I think it will be a great help. 🙂 Here is a link to a free download.
I love words, too—speaking and reading and writing. (Woe to the man who courts me someday! Just kidding.) 😉 Why not use them to make an eternal difference? For me personally, making/writing cards and sending emails is very enjoyable, so I do both whenever I can. But it wasn’t until maybe a year or two ago that I realized that these could be my ministry, and not just a hobby—a ministry of encouragement and affirmation and empathy. There is so much potential for serving the Lord through just this love of words!
On the more general subject, embracing our femininity instead of lamenting our *fate*, I should note that, thankfully, my mother has always modeled submission and loving support in her marriage. As a result, I rarely think of these traits/attitudes as a burden. I do need encouragement, though, to REJOICE in the role I have been given to play in life! Thank you for using your blog to do just this. 🙂
Emily,
Thank you so much for sharing! 🙂 Love this!
You are most welcome for the blog. I’m so glad it is a blessing. 🙂 Imagine if all of God’s daughters rejoiced in the gift of our femininity! What an incredible world this would be! 🙂
I have Googled lots of times asking how could God love me when he blessed men so much more. And how can i love God if he did that? And the sad part is i thought I would never be happy if I was a girl. Please email me.
Emily,
I feel so sad that you feel God has not blessed women. We are EXTREMELY blessed – in my view, more so than men, in so many ways. You absolutely can be joyful and happy as a woman. 🙂 Would it be okay if we talk about it here?
Much love to you!
Emily,
Or you may leave me a message on my Contact page – if you prefer for the conversation to be private.