I love to take real-life situations and seek to approach them biblically. God has given us a LOT of instruction, help, and wisdom to use in times of conflict in almost any situation. As we learn to look to Him and His Word for biblical principles, and as we learn to depend on Him in faith and prayer – we can then learn to notice His promptings and leading in the details of our unique situations, as well.
Today, let’s picture a scenario where a husband-to-be* announces to his future bride something like:
- “My job is being relocated in two months to the office 2 hours away.”
- “I found a better job opportunity out of state and I think I need to consider it. Will you pray about this with me?”
- “I think a move would be best for us when we get married.”
A woman may be tempted to have a knee-jerk reaction – like, “NO WAY!!!!!!”
Most of us don’t like change too much. It’s easy to immediately hate the idea and blast the man with all the reasons this can’t possibly sane.
- “Well, then, you need to get a job here. There is no way we are moving.”
- “You can move and I will stay put.”
- “I love this neighborhood and this house. I’m not giving it up!”
- “I hate that idea.”
- “My family is here.”
- “I don’t care what you say, I’m not going!”
- “Absolutely not! End of discussion!”
Sometimes it’s easy to freak out in a situation like this and be contentious, defensive, and argumentative. But what if, instead of freaking out and immediately rejecting our man’s idea, we take a deep breath and listen? He may be hearing from the Lord. He may not even know it, himself. But what if God is leading in this idea? What if I am fighting God? How could I possibly know for sure – yet?
SOME BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES TO KEEP IN MIND IN A DIFFICULT SITUATION LIKE THIS
- “Father, if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:42
- Let the wife see that she respects her husband. Eph. 5:33
- Train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:4-5
God does work through things like circumstances, job transfers, a husband’s ideas (as the God-given leader of the family), job offers, and other situations to lead us into His will. Of course I am not saying that every job transfer announcement means, “It is definitely God’s will for the you to move.” Or that every idea a fiancé or husband has is God’s will. We do need to pray and seek the Lord in times of decisions. So do our men.
And, no, a fiancé is not the same thing as a husband. God does not require me to submit to a man to whom I am not married. But if I am going to marry a man, I do need to be prepared to follow his leading. If he believes we need to move, that is something I need to be willing to consider if I want to marry him. I need to already be learning to treat him with respect and honor. I can choose to back out of the marriage if I don’t trust his leading. It is not a sin for me to break up with him. But if I want to be his wife, I need to prepare my heart to cooperate with his leadership, unless he is asking me to sin (or in a few other scenarios). Of course, I can also share my godly influence and we can have a mutually respectful conversation about important topics like this.
We have a sovereign Lord! If only we could grasp this precious truth! He is even able to take awful things like natural disasters, wars, and persecution – things Satan intends to use to destroy us – to lead His children. And He can certainly use good things to benefit us, too (Rom. 8:28-29). He will never leave us and never forsake us!
It could be that God wants to lead us into a new place where we will be greatly blessed. He may have just the right church family waiting for us, just the specific neighbors He wants us to have as our friends. He may have mentors for us in the new place or an amazing new ministry. The trial of moving, itself, may be an incredible opportunity to stretch our faith and help us grow spiritually.
Our cooperative spirit with our husbands, and – even more importantly – with the Lord, makes a huge difference! It also helps us to shine for the gospel and to draw others to Christ.
A DIFFERENT APPROACH
Maybe I could consider approaching a big, potentially scary decision, in new ways:
- Listen to his ideas.
- See the merit and good points he has, as well as the reality of the situation.
- Ask for some time to pray to:
- Seek the Lord.
- Be open to Him.
- Die to myself.
- Really determine to trust God no matter how He may lead.
- Yield everything in my life to His will and hold things loosely in my hands.
- Desire God’s will and His greatest glory for my future husband and myself, even if I don’t know exactly what may happen.
- Then after I have prayed and am calm, I can share my heart respectfully. I can share my concerns politely, in a friendly, cooperative way.
- Maybe, in time, I might even be able to get excited about the idea. It could be a grand adventure the Lord has prepared for us!
God is the One who is outside of time and space. Not me. He is omniscient – He knows everything. I definitely do not. He knows absolutely everything about the past, the present, and the future. His wisdom far exceeds my own. I want to be cooperative when He is opening a new door He has for my family.
*NOTE – My posts are written for women who are living for Jesus and who are only considering dating/marriage with men who genuinely want to live for Jesus. If your guy is not a believer in Christ, please check out this post. If your man is suffering from uncontrolled mental health issues, uncontrolled drug/alcohol addiction, if he is abusive, unfaithful, or not in his right mind, please seek appropriate, trustworthy, godly counsel and help from your local church, medical professionals, and even the police if necessary.
If you would like to know how you can have a relationship with Christ Jesus that will save you from hell, transform your life here on earth for great good, and allow you to live with Jesus forever in heaven, check out this post!
Have you ever experienced God leading you through someone in a position of leadership in your life? We’d love to hear about it.
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