Renata is a Christian wife and mom. I appreciate her allowing me to share a few thoughts with the ladies!
Girls, It is more important for you to refine your character to become the loving, giving, kindhearted woman you were meant to be than anything else as a young woman.
Like attracts like.
If you want an honorable, dignified, Godly, masculine young man, you had better be his counterpart.
No boy is going to appear as manly to you as your father, he is growing in to it like you are growing into your womanhood. Don’t accept pseudo-manliness as a good substitution for the real stuff. What substance can be found in a guy who mouths off, does stupid dangerous things, or breaks good rules in order to look manly? This is as fake a rendition of manhood as sluttiness is of womanhood. Be aware that this pressure cooker you are in will evaporate in a few years, but the consequences of bad decisions can last for a lifetime.
Don’t play with fire by collecting boyfriends. When you fall in love with a man and he with you, it will be nearly impossible for you to keep your hands off each other. Cultural scripts would tell you that sex is ‘just’ an urge, it does not mean much, etc etc. The reality is far, far different. The exquisite expression of love between spouses has meaning because it is a spiritual as well as a physical act. Do not allow yourself to be deceived into believing lies that create spiritual wastelands.
A lot of teen girl culture is built around open idol worship. (Teen boy culture, on the other hand, seems to be pushing hedonism.) Be the most beautiful girl, with all of the right accessories and then your dreams will come true: everyone oohs and aahs and watches you in envy wherever you go- all of the guys drooling, all of the girls jealous. Then you will BE the goddess that everyone worships. Until then, “buy” your way in with your sexuality, choice of clothes, etc.
So be careful what you place before your eyes, girls. Cultivating a beautiful vision that values Godly things and gives you an ideal to live up to is important because otherwise, you will find yourself adopting someone else’s. Do you love God or do you want to be the goddess? I find the church’s ability to communicate a beautiful, compelling, Godly vision (don’t know how else to express this) of manhood and womanhood is broken.
Go where the men are- sounds simple, right? Smile and be friendly to them- simple friendliness is not flirting.