If you were to have the relationship you want, how would you describe it? (I can only speak for ladies here) Would he love God with all his heart? Would he listen to you share your heart? Would he protect you at all costs? Would he sacrifice for you? Would he share wisdom and help you understand? Would he firmly but lovingly guide you to be Christ-like? (This post will assume you are a Christian and seeking a godly man. If you are not, and would like to hear more about this, I would love to chat with you)
Most of us ladies who desire a relationship would shout “Yes, that sounds like a perfect man!”
My beautiful friend, I want you to imagine you and me sitting in a coffee shop together. I want you to imagine us chatting, laughing, and being great friends. I want you to imagine this, because I am about to share the most exciting news that I have ever experienced.
Lean in close with your eyes a bit narrowed and your head turned slightly to the side, so that I know I have your full attention. I whisper, “This man, the one described above – he does not exist in flesh and bone.” I imagine you just pulled your head back a bit, arched your eyebrows, and gave me a look questioning my sanity. Please allow me to clarify what I mean.
Do I think godly, good men exist? Absolutely, yes! Stay with me here. I think we have some strong brothers in Christ, ones who point us to Christ and ones who allow us to embrace our role in godly femininity. However, these men will fail at some point, as will I. There may be times when I expect more than they can give. There may be times when their flesh rises up. Just as I will fail, so will any man that God places in my life.
Is that the end of the story? Should I sink into a depression and think that all men are terrible because they are human? Should I get angry with God that His will and my desire do not align? No, no, and no!
- Would he love God will all His heart? saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Luke 22:42 (ESV) He chose the will of the Father over His own. He chose to submit and trust God’s path.
- Would he listen to your share your heart? And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15 (ESV) We when submit to the Father, He hears our cries. He knows the longings of our hearts. He comforts us in our loneliness.
- Would he protect you at all costs? We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (ESV) We can overcome this world when we are one with Christ.
- Would he sacrifice for you? “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (ESV) God sent His precious Son to take on our guilt, our shame, and our sin. Christ died that we may have eternal life.
- Would he share wisdom and help you understand? If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5 (ESV) God does not hide His wisdom from us. He shares it with us openly and freely.
- Would he firmly but lovingly guide you to be Christ-like? “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” John 14 1-7 (ESV) Jesus tells us that He is the way, the truth, and the life- that He is the way to heaven. We cannot be good enough, smart enough, strong enough, or any other enough. The only enough we have to be is broken enough to accept Him.
I would share these truths with you. I would tell you that the greatest love I have ever known is that of my Creator. I would tell you that the work He has done in me and the change that He has brought forth in me could never be done by a man. Do I want a godly man in my life? Yes, I sure do!
But, I want God more.
I have seen His power! I have experienced His all-consuming love! I have felt His breath on me! I have experienced His life-changing, earth shattering, mind-blowing presence! I cannot get enough of Him!!! I have an insatiable hunger for more of Him. The closer I walk with Him, the more I want. I cannot imagine a day without His presence. I cannot imagine a trial and being in the midst of a fire without knowing His voice apart from all others. My friend, that – THAT- is something no man on this earth can give. No human can give us full security, love, and assurance. No man can fill a void in a heart that is meant to be your Savior’s. If you do not know the sweet taste of His presence, I ask you to request His presence. If you remember His presence, but not vividly, I encourage you to ask His to remind you.
Oh, my friend, my beautiful sister – my heart’s desire is that each of you experiences His presence. You will never be the same. NOTHING comes close! If you were to ask me how I deal with the deep loneliness that singleness brings (and it can be so very lonely), I would challenge you. I would ask you to spend one week pressing in to Christ with everything you have, asking Him to rid you of all sin, to meet you where you are, to take you deeper, to allow you to feel His love, to crave Him more than anything. If you did that with all of you heart, I imagine you would no longer ask that question.
Your question would become “How do I go deeper? How can I continually stay in His presence?”
How have you experienced the love of Christ first-hand? How has He captivated you with his presence?