A guest post by a single sister in Christ, Olivia:
SOME GENERAL WAYS TO GROW IN CHRIST
- Study His word. Apply His word and live to obey God. Let your first purpose be to give God glory in all things.
- Pray, pray, pray.
- Study the lives of godly women. Emulate the godly examples and study the topics of submission, roles of women (all these tough topics that goes against the grain of this world, you will find how beautiful the biblical submissive wife really is).
- Enrich your life by giving your time to help others(volunteer at children’s homes, soup kitchens for homeless etc).
- Learn what is contentedness. Make a study on it. Try to be content with what the Lord has given you and what you don’t have at this time. Teach yourself to have a greatful heart. Thank the Lord for everything, even little things.
- If you are lonely, depressed, discouraged or even bitter toward the Lord, please bring all those feelings to the LORD. Ask him to help you in that. He will be faithful. Usually when we leave those feelings unchecked, thats when they breed into larger then life emotional turmoil which in turn can lead to sinful actions and more heartache.
- Ask the Lord how you can please Him more in this time of singleness. Trust and believe that He will bring you abundant opportunities to make His name great in this time and every other season of life.
- Remember you are not an island. If you live alone and need to fix things, you don’t need to be strong and do all things yourself. I find many people are open to help when asked for help. This is a tip for us “independent women”. Be humble, accept help.
- Pray against lust, and flee all situations that may present itself where you could be alone with a man especially when you are attracted to him.
Usually I have seen when I compromise just a bit, I am led and slip, slip, slip until I am completely emerged in the sin. If you know just a kiss can fire up those feelings, stay away and set up that boundary rather then compromise and fall into sin.
ASK YOURSELF THIS IMPORTANT QUESTION
It’s a very difficult question that I tried to ignore for a long time. But it casts a lot of light on the condition of our hearts:
- If I had to be single for the rest of my life, would that be ok with me? How would I live my life then?
Answer honestly, this can illuminate whether or not you hold marriage as an idol in your heart. Would you decide to live life to the glory of God whether married or single or would you be bitter and resentful towards God?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. Prov. 3:5
This was and still is a major hurdle for me. I always did things the way I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. Now to be still and wait upon the Lord is such a tough thing for me. How do I trust him when things in the natural doesnt seem to go my way?
TAKING MY SINFUL THOUGHTS CAPTIVE
To me all these boils down to trusting what the Lord says in His word. The Lord is gracious to strengthen me through His word and promises.
- Maybe I should do something to help the Lord along. Ok, Lord, no men in church/godly Christian men are looking my way, maybe then its ok to just date anyone as long as he is nice/good/and says he is christian.
No..stay put. Trust in the Lord.
- Maybe its ok to just step out of the will of the Lord and get pregnant just to have a baby. Lord, I don’t want to be without a child and I’m getting older.
No… stay put. Don’t move out of the will of the Lord. Trust in Him.
- Lord, this Christian man is too slow, I will tell him I like him and ask him to be my boyfriend. That way I dont have to waste my time waiting for him.
No…stay put. Do not pursue the man. Show him you like him by smiling and interacting in a kind, friendly, gentle, feminine way, but leave the pursuit and initial asking out to him. Be patient.
- Lord, why have you left me alone here. Why do You allow this? Lord, I don’t understand? Why are all my friends in relationships and getting married and here I am single not a guy in sight? Why, Why, Why Lord?
I am never alone. The Lord is with me in every season. In every situation. He is my Lord in the valley and on the mountain tops. He carries me and strengthens me. Lord, give me your peace in this situation. Teach me your ways. Lead me into your righteousness. I want to please you in every detail of my life. Help me. Even if I don’t understand Lord, help me to trust in You.
- I am so sexually frustrated. Maybe a quick peak at online porn….
No, no! Get up. Do something. ( I find taking the dog for a walk, or washing the dishes, or watering the garden helps, just getting away from cellphone and laptop and my room). Flee all lustful thoughts. Lord, help me. Help me! I want to please You.
- Lord do you even love me? How can you allow me to feel this alone? You have created me for fellowship and connection with others. Why are you keeping this away from me?
The Lord loves me. He saved me. That’s a proof of His love. More then I could have asked for. And the Lord owes me nothing. He does not owe me a husband or anything. Everything is out of grace and His kindness toward me. These things are His gifts and He has the right to do as He pleases and give these gifts as He pleases. Oh Lord, forgive me for feeling bitter and resentful towards You. You owe me nothing, yet, Lord, I still come to you asking for these good gifts. Please see my longing today, help me in this journey. May my joy be full in you today, Lord. Please give me the peace I long for as I cast these burdens of my heart on You today. Thank You for your grace, love and mercy towards me.