If you are in a romantic relationship with a godly man now, these tips may be super helpful today! If you are not in a romantic relationship at this time, they may be handy to keep in mind for a future relationship.
As women, almost all of us long for romance in our lives.
We want to feel loved, accepted, secure, cherished, and adored by a man we love.
Sometimes, we get enamored by the fantasy of Hollywood-style romance, which tends to create resentment in our hearts. We tend expect real life to be just like the fantasy.
Sometimes those movies and books encourage us to expect men to think and act in romantic ways that are not super realistic. Then we get upset that our men don’t act like fictional characters.
I think it is a wise idea to develop an understanding of the amazing real-life closeness, love, and connection we can have in our romantic relationships if we are in Christ.
Real romance is all about selflessness, thoughtfulness, kindness, and generosity.
Sadly, we sometimes miss out on a lot of things that actually could be extremely romantic, if only we decided to look at them that way.
We are conditioned by our culture (and advertisers) to recognize certain specific things as romantic:
- Dinner out at a fancy restaurant
- Pricey cards
These things definitely can be romantic and very special treats that we can enjoy from our men, at times.
But the truth is, lots of other things can be romantic, too!
SECRET #1 – APPRECIATION
Here’s a secret to experiencing greater romantic connection in your relationship:
Anytime your guy does something sweet for you—big or small— decide to receive his loving act toward you as something very romantic.
Because it is!
So if he does something loving like he:
- Gives you a compliment.
- Tries to cheer you up.
- Fixes your car.
- Takes care of your dog while you are out of town.
- Runs to the store to get tissues and medicine when you are sick.
- Tries to protect you from harm in some way spiritually, financially, emotionally, or physically.
- Comes over to spend the evening with you even if you don’t go to a restaurant or do something that costs money.
- Chooses a movie he knows you’ll like or avoids one he knows you’ll hate.
- Makes a sacrifice so you can have or do something important to you.
Here’s what you can do:
- Smile! Let your face light up with delight.
- Use a friendly tone of voice as much as possible.
- Thank him with words and maybe even some appropriate affection.
- Appreciate his loving gesture and cherish it in your heart and mind.
- Consider ways you could do something special for him that he would appreciate, too.
There is something extremely lovely and feminine about a woman graciously and joyfully receiving a gift her man gives her. Your delight over what he did for you is a precious gift to him!
Romance in real life is found in appreciating the little things.
SECRET #2 – GRATITUDE
Attraction and real-life romance need nurturing. They are much like a garden. You have to pull the weeds, water, and fertilize. If you ignore the relationship, things don’t magically get stronger and better.
If you focus on the good and on being thankful for those things in your guy, romance will naturally begin to grow.
Some proven ways to nurture real-life romance and attraction:
- Focus on the things you respect and admire about your guy.
- Keep an ongoing list of things for which you are grateful about your man and about things he has done for you.
- Speak positively about him to yourself, to others, and to him.
Thankfulness and gratitude fertilize real-life romance.
(There are times we need to address sin. But, in general, if there is not major unrepentant sin going on, let’s focus mostly on the good things.)
SECRET #3 – SOFTNESS
One of the most attractive things about women, to our men, is our softness. Yes, we have soft, lovely curves, generally. But more than that, when we respond and act with feminine gentleness, softness, and openness, that is beautiful and magnetic to our men, too.
We want to avoid a few things that kill our softness:
- Yelling and harshness.
- Sharp, hurtful words.
- Being bossy.
- Being argumentative.
- Being negative and complaining.
- Freaking out and worrying a lot.
And we want to invite God to help us be empowered by the Spirit (Gal. 2:22-23) to be:
These godly responses draw our men to us, make them feel more masculine and protective of us, and tend to increase the attraction and romance in our relationship over time.
When we seek romance and our own feelings first, we end up sabotaging real-life romance. But when we seek Christ first and seek to honor Him as we relate to our men, romance generally results as fruit from the relationship being properly cultivated.
When you are spiritually healthy, then you have the ability to approach your man in ways that foster romance and closeness.
What are your thoughts about how appreciation, gratitude, and softness might impact the connection in a romantic relationship?
Much love! <3
NOTE – If you are facing severe issues in your relationship like uncontrolled mental health issues, abuse, violence, major addictions, etc… please seek experienced, trustworthy, godly help from a counselor, the police, a doctor, or whoever is appropriate.