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Many women hold Valentine’s Day in very high regard. To the point that, if we don’t get very specific things on that day, we may feel depressed, unloved, slighted, or even devastated.

I’d like to see women who know Jesus be set free from the dark side of Valentine’s Day. By avoiding these common mistakes, you can have joy on Valentine’s Day and every day.

5 Mistakes to Avoid on Valentine’s Day

  1. Base your worth on whether you are in a romantic relationship. If you are not, then wallow in self-pity, depression, and discouragement.
  2. Judge your man’s love for you and the value of your entire romantic relationship on what he gives you on one day of the year.
  3. Buy the advertising. Believe the messages of jewelry companies, flower companies, candy companies, and restaurants that you must receive these things on that day or you are not loved.
  4. If you don’t get everything you want, become bitter. Be bitter at men, in general. Or be bitter at your particular man and resent him for “not loving you as he should.” Be bitter at God, too.
  5. Wait for people to do things for you. Make the day all about what you get.

Those are some sure-fire ways to feel miserable on Valentine’s Day.

When we idolize Valentine’s Day and what we want others to do for us, we become miserable.

And we make everyone else miserable, too.

If you want to have joy on Valentine’s Day, try doing these things instead.

5 Healthy Ways to Approach Valentine’s Day

  1. Base your worth on the love of Jesus for you and His willingness to go to the cross in your place. Meditate on the blessings you have in Jesus. Recognize that you are created in the image of God and, if you are in Christ, you are co-heirs with Jesus, a daughter of the King of kings!
  2. If you have a guy in your life, look at the things he does for you every day to see his love for you. Does he bring you medicine and food when you are sick? Does he text to let you know he got home safely? Does he do thoughtful, sweet things to make your life easier? Does he treat you well? Is he selfless? Does he treat your parents and others with honor? Those are the tangible measures of real love. 
  3. Set yourself free from the power of advertiser’s messages. They are there to make a profit. If your guy gets you something for Valentine’s Day, enjoy it. If the two of you decide to celebrate in your own way or to not celebrate Valentine’s Day at all, that is totally fine. No corporation should dictate to you what your love should look like.
  4. Lay down your expectations of what you will get on Valentine’s Day. Expect nothing. Respond graciously when things don’t go the way you had planned. Remember all the ways you are loved by God, family, friends, and your man (if you have one).
  5. Focus on ways you can be a blessing to others on Valentine’s Day, and every day. Could you take balloons and a card to a lonely elderly widow or the single mom down the street? Could you text your lonely friends and check on them? Could you send care packages to military personnel? Or to someone at your church who is having a hard time? 

This Valentine’s Day is going to be difficult for many people because so many are isolated and lonely. How might the Lord want to use you to be a ray of sunlight and joy in someone’s life this year?

How might He want to transform your thinking about this day?

Much love!


Have you learned to see Valentine’s Day in a healthy way? We’d love to hear about it!

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