This is from a single Christian brother in his early 60s. I appreciate his willingness to share.

I totally understand the deep desires that most of us have to find the right partner for life. We all long to be loved. When we look at members of the opposite sex, we long to meet that right person. We long to walk with that person, hold hands, and have intimacy.

I was a pretty miserable single for so many years. What so many singles do is put SO much pressure on themselves to meet the right person. They become desperate and when people become desperate, they make many terrible decisions and terrible mistakes. They try to solve their problem in their own way and pay the price for their poor decisions. 

There is a better way—a MUCH BETTER way.

Seek first the kingdom of God.  Matt. 6:33

Let God take care of the issues of our lives.  He will add these other things if it is His will and He will do it in His time. 

So many singles never realize that they need to grow up in so many ways.  They need to grow spiritually and oftentimes emotionally. I used to get bent out of shape emotionally whenever somebody disagreed with me or said something negative about me. I was too sensitive to criticism. I would go into a shell if I perceived that somebody was hurting me.

I was very emotionally immature.  I wasn’t fit to be married and had God brought somebody into my life at that time, I would have surely messed up the relationship. So God did something better for me, He said, “No,” when I asked Him for a girlfriend who could eventually become my wife. 

He said “No” because God knew that I needed to grow before I could ever be fit to be a husband. 

Sometimes people just can’t admit that they are not ready for a relationship or marriage. They plow into relationships out of desperation and they often repeat the same thing over and over and over again. God may also have other purposes for our singleness, purposes that will lead many to Jesus.  That excites me!!!!!

God gave me peace in the midst of being single. 

He didn’t change my circumstances. I’m still single. As a 35-year-old single man, I was miserable and so lonely. Now, as a 61-year-old, STILL SINGLE man, I have peace and joy and a sense of purpose in my life. 

I know Jesus, and through Him, I have an eternal love life with Him and with the saints and one day, I will experience the PERFECT FULFILLMENT of that eternal love life. 

God finally got through to me that it is this eternal love life that is so important.  And I can be a part of the growth of the church through witnessing to others, praying for others, and being salt and light in the world.  And the more people who come to know Jesus, the more people that you and I and all of the saints will love in the New Heaven and New Earth forever and ever. 

Life is very short. As I get older, I become even more aware of the brevity of life. Marriage is a WONDERFUL gift, a beautiful thing designed by God.  Marriage is the foundation, under God, for the family. Marriage is beautiful. But it is also very temporary. 

I have an eternal love life now that I am in Christ. I am a free man, free to love others in whatever way is appropriate. Do I understand the loneliness of singles? Absolutely. But there is a better way to deal with that loneliness.

  1. Give it to God
  2. Let Him direct your path.
  3. Know that if you are in Christ, you have an eternal love life waiting for you
  4. If you need to grow, let God teach and lead you, let Him heal you. 

If you will seek first His kingdom, God will show you the way. He may or may not provide a spouse, but He’ll show you the way, His way, for your life.


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