This is an email I received this past week.  THANK YOU to the man who took the time to answer these questions so thoroughly.  What an incredible wealth of information and insight you are giving the ladies here.  This is a priceless gift!

I’m a 25-year-old single man, and a follower of Jesus. I just came across your blog while doing a web search on Christians idolizing romance and thought I’d respond to your invitation in “What do guys think?” even though I’m sure you had plenty of responses and I’m months late.

1.   If a godly girl is interested in you, how would you most like her to approach you?

Personally I think it’s better for the girl to wait and see if the guy is interested. Based on my experience, any young man who wants to be a husband and father is keenly aware of the young women around him and doesn’t need them to get his attention. If he doesn’t have the courage to take the risk and approach a woman he’s interested in then he’s not mature enough yet to be a husband and father. If he doesn’t take the initiative she should assume he’s not interested. She can be friendly if they have to interact but shouldn’t treat him any differently than any other man until he makes the first move, and even then she should always allow him to take the initiative.

2.  What are some things girls do to try to get a guy’s attention that would repel you?
Dressing immodestly is a big issue. Have you written a blog on that?  (From Peacefulwife-  YES!  A number of them.  I will put some links at the bottom of the page.)  All guys are very very sensitive to the appearance of a woman’s body, and wearing tight pants and shirts causes guys to be distracted can temp them to the sin of lust. A women who dresses immodestly will attract guys who are interested in her based solely on her body.

As a Christian guy I want to get to know a woman’s personality and it’s difficult to do so if I’m being distracted by her body. Also, this is more my personal preference, but I find that women who put too much time into their personal appearance (make-up, perfectly matched and fashionable new clothes etc.) can also be repelling. It could indicate that they are vain, self focused, materialistic and frivolous with their money, all not traits I’d want in a wife. Don’t get me wrong, they look very pretty and there are occasions when it’s appropriate to dress up, but not every day. There are much better ways to spend your time and money.

Talking loudly and constantly giggling are also a turn-offs because these can make a guy think she’s immature or desperate.

3. If you ask a girl out and then she does start texting/calling you incessantly, what would you think about wanting to continue to go out with her?

I’d probably feel smothered and wonder if she was desperate or immature. Common sense dictates that she shouldn’t communicate with him more than she would with other acquaintances until they are in a serious relationship, and even then it has to be sustainable, we need to be able to work etc.

4.  What are some red flags for you when you meet a girl – behavior, lifestyle, dress, speech, mannerisms, etc.

The way she dresses has got to be the biggest red flag. As I said, guys are very sensitive to appearances.

Anything else you would like to add?

Please encourage young people not to idolize romance. Sure we need to do our part but we can only find true and lasting happiness in trusting and loving in the Lord Jesus. Please keep encouraging young women to listen to their consciences, to wait for Godly men to take the initiative, and to only enter a relationship with a man they respect and who will treat them with utmost respect and kindness.


Is Modesty Relevant in 2013?

What Guys Think about Modesty

Idolizing a Man

Idolizing Marriage

Idolizing Romance

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