This is a bit of correspondence between myself and a sister in Christ who attends college at this time with her boyfriend. I appreciate her willingness to allow me to share! Her words are in blue:
Last night I was disrespectful to my boyfriend and now he’s emotionally distant. I’ve apologized and but he’s still distant. That’s okay, if he needs space. I guess what I’m asking is, do I just give him space and let him come back to me when he’s ready or is there something I need to do? Last time I tried to give him space, he thought I was mad and gave me space and we didn’t really talk or hangout for like five days. I’m very sad because I like to be perfect and I have a hard time forgiving myself when I make mistakes.
You can’t be perfect, my sweet friend!!! I used to have the idol of perfectionism. I have a post about that on my YouTube Channel “April Cassidy”.
I vote to give him space and use this time to seek hard after Christ. Yes, it can take days for a guy to recover from something like that. Do you want to talk about what happened?
Yes I don’t mind sharing what I did. We were driving home and I was impatient about the time and he said, “Well, didn’t you say you had to leave by 10:10?”
And I said, “I just said that so we would leave on time.”
He said in a joking tone, “So, wait, you lied to me?”
I snapped back in only a semi-joking tone, “Well, it’s what I have to do apparently.”
- I called him later that night and apologized and he was pretty distant.
He has forgiven me. (The next day) he sent a text asking if I wanted to get lunch together and was completely kind as usual. I am so blessed, I really feel like I don’t deserve him sometimes.
When I make mistakes, because I know a lot about respect and the damage lack of respect does, I tend to worry, regret, and stress a lot more than most women because I truly understand the weight of what I did.
Yikes. Yes, that was very disrespectful. I personally vote to just tell him the real time from now on.
I’m glad you understand the weight of what you did. It is painful to see and know how much damage your words can do and it is tempting to try to rush to fix things right away. I’m glad you waited and let him come to you after you apologized.
Hopefully lesson learned!
Yes, the lesson was DEFINITELY learned. It’s sobering to realize that I can make damaging mistakes even though I know how bad it is. (shows how much pride I have….ughh)
But guess what he did last night???!!
He said, “I have your sixth month anniversary gift,” and I totally wasn’t expecting anything at all!!
He reached into his backpack and gave me a ring box. I opened it and inside was a purity ring. It like a sideways cross that wraps around my finger. He said that it symbolizes the cross that we have to carry. He also said,
“Whenever you look at this, I want you to know that I will always sacrifice what I want for what’s best for you.”
I will never EVER forget those words. I am sooo blessed and SOOO lucky, April! Ahhhhhhhh, just so happy.
That is the most thoughtful, precious, beautiful, Christlike thing I have EVER heard a man do for his girl.
He is such a blessing. I am praying for you both to continue to seek God with all your hearts!!!!!
Thank you so much for your prayers! April, something I personally really struggle with is feeling so little and petty compared to him. I told him one time that I feel like I never do anything in our relationship, I am the one that is always receiving. Do you know what he said to me? Here’s the conversation…
I said, “I don’t give you anything, I’m always receiving.”
His eyes opened up like he couldn’t believe me. “You are everything to me, you give me a reason to live.”
I said, “Just by existing?”
He said, “Yes!”
I have never forgotten those words.
(I actually have an Evernote folder called “Love Notes” and anything he tells me that I love goes into my Love Notes folder and when I am feeling disconnected or lonely, I read them and it makes me feel SO much better)
April I am just soooooo happy right now I could burst. I have such a crazy emotional roller coaster emotional week but I truly believe that I am a new creation, like the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17. The old has passed away and the new has come! Such an encouraging verse.