From a teenage girl (now a 9th grader) who is a believer in Christ – with her permission and her parents’ permission. I so appreciate them allowing me to share her testimony. I’m very excited to see all that the Lord will continue to do in her life!
I have really changed this year.
My lying started by little things. Like entertainment, then drama, and lastly, me liking boys. I lied to myself and my parents. During this time, my lying slowly increased. Even the little things still counted as lying! In the beginning of December (last year) I started to fool my parents. I went to our school’s basketball games with my brother, snuck around, and walked all over the school. The funny thing is, my parents specifically told me not to do those actions, and guess what!? I did them anyway. My parents found out, and I wasn’t able to go to the basketball games anymore. I remember how furious I was with them just because I couldn’t go to a basketball game, because of my actions!
In my anger, I started being even sneakier, and more deceiving. That began a cycle. A very ugly cycle that became hard to stop. I developed a website without my parents’ permission. If I’m being completely open, it makes me terribly sad to even write this down! I lied, got in trouble, and I was bitter. This repeated multiple times. A month or so passed, and between then, I was still lying. It wasn’t as big or immense but I was still lying (and hiding).
In late January, I started to lie about a boy in my class. I liked him a lot. I remember one specific rule in the house. We had a family IPad and I wasn’t allowed to text boys, because it could bring on feelings to like a boy and create a relationship that isn’t the best for me at thirteen. But, I broke that rule right away! I did it, and I thought my parents would never ever find out! I specifically rememeber one night when my parents were tucking me into bed (yes, they still do). Somehow a conversation came up about boys. My parents said they were proud that I don’t text and how it wasn’t okay (for my age) to text boys alone. At that moment I felt like they “knew” that I was hiding something. There was a little hint in their voice, so I thought. It started to make me very worried that they’d find out! A week or so later I got a very terrifying email.
It was from one of my friends, she was dealing with suicidal thoughts and other traumatizing things. I was so shocked. I forwarded the email to my mom, in order to contact the right people. My mother had to see it in person so she could make sure it was real. But, the problem was I had texts and emails from that boy, and many other things! Of course, I couldn’t show my emails to my parents! I ran downstairs with my computer – going literally crazy, I tried to delete things as quickly as possible; but I didn’t delete anything. It was already too late, my parents were confused and told me to come upstairs. I threw a fit! I didn’t want them to see everything I was hiding. When I took my computer upstairs to show my parents, I continually lied again by typing in the wrong password over and over. After all of this, they took away all of my electronics and pretty much grounded me. This time it was big.
After all of this, my parents found out about what I was lying about. I was so angry and bitter after this. I remember telling myself that I’d never respect or talk to my parents again. I was very angry at this time. I also felt very lonely, I had no one to go to. No friends to text, no parents to ask for help, no one (as I thought). Even though God was there and God wanted to help me, I refused to think of that. A month or more had passed and this was my first point of changing. It wasn’t necessarily good, but I was slowly starting to change.
I started to ask myself questions. I was very fearful for my future. I felt as if no one would ever forgive me from everything I did. Two nagging questions were in the back of my head.
- “Will my parents ever forgive me?” I already answered that question in my mind, and I definitely thought it was a no.
- The biggest question I fought with was would “God ever forgive me?”
No, I wasn’t depressed, I was very concerned for my future. I started to change little by little. My mother faithfully taught me. She gave me devotions on lying (which helped a lot) and many other things.
Near the end of my last month or so of middle school (in late May/early June), I was very sad about my actions. During the summer, I started to slowly stop investing in relationships that were having a bad influence on me. My mom and I spent more time with each other. Realizing my friends were moving on to different high schools. Everything I depended on was changing. God started to open my heart to my parents. Also I read more devotions and began reading a devotion every morning.
God was still showing me things in the Bible and changing me. A few challenging moments had happened over the summer, but I knew how to overcome them during this time. With prayer, wise people to help me, and the Bible.
I am extremely thankful for my parents, who really were very loyal, and they taught me many great things. God has done a work in me. A year ago, I wouldn’t be able to even write this. He has changed me so much. I love God and I am willing to serve him.
This sin God helped me to see may be an example for you. Every day, we all need to fight sin. Every second. No, not just on Sundays, not just once a week. Every day. Every day we need God to guide us, we all need to look to Him. If you feel lost in sin, go to the Bible, and go to God because He is here for you! Isn’t that so great to hear? God loves us, and he wants us to come to Him.
- “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.” Proverbs 12:19
- “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.” Colossians 3:9
- “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
- “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
- Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
There is hope for each of us in Jesus Christ! He alone can give us victory over our sin – whether it is lying, disrespecting our parents, pride, lust, worry, bitterness, gossip, or anything else!