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Some women think that because I only teach women and only talk about what God wants us to do as wives on our end of the marriage, that I am saying that women don’t need to be treated with respect.

That is NOT AT ALL what I am saying!

It kind of blows my mind that some women think that if they have read what I write.

Thankfully, just because I only teach women what God commands women to do in marriage, that does not negate God’s commands to men!  Why would me focusing on commands for wives mean that husbands don’t have to obey God’s commands for them?  Everyone answers to God!  Not me, that is for sure!

Men and women need love and respect.

Believers in Christ are to treat all people with love and respect out of reverence for Christ and because His Spirit lives in us.

I don’t talk a lot about what God commands husbands to do because it is VERY easy for us as women to start focusing on where we think our men are failing or where we think they need to improve instead of focusing on our own sin, our own obedience to Christ and God’s commands for us whether we are single or married or preparing for marriage. That is where our power is! Focusing on what we control and what we are responsible for.

If you haven’t seen what God commands husbands in His Word, here is a brief recap:

  • Husbands are commanded by God to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it.
  • They are commanded by God to be gentle, not harsh with their wives.
  • God commands husbands to be selfless and to sacrifice themselves for what is best for their wives.
  • God holds husbands accountable for the marriage and family because He designated husbands to be the head of the marriage as Christ is the head of the church.
  • He commands husbands to treat their wives with honor as the weaker vessel, and says wives are coheirs with their husbands of eternal life.
  • God says that if husbands mistreat their wives, their prayers will be hindered.
  • God commands husbands not to withhold themselves sexually from their wives, just like He commands wives not to withhold themselves sexually from their husbands.
  • God commands husbands to represent Christ to their wives – not to BE God to them – but to represent Christ’s love to them.
  • God commands husbands to love their wives and care for them as they care for their own bodies.

Women are not inferior to men in God’s eyes or in my eyes!

That may be the world’s definition of submission in marriage – but that is not God’s definition. I am only interested in what God’s Word has to say about it! The garbage that is called “submission and dominance” in 50 Shades of Gray and all over the internet is a warped, extremely ungodly distortion of God’s beautiful design for marriage. I really wish they had chosen some other word!

Submission – in God’s Word – has nothing to do with the value of a person or inferiority. It has nothing to do with slavery.

Submission was around before time began and before the universe was created – in the Godhead. The Son submits to His Father out of love. They are equal. They are both God. The Son’s submission has nothing to do with His value or worth, but His position in the Trinity.

God commands all believers in Christ to submit 100% to Christ as LORD and to the authority of God’s Word.  Then we also submit to God-given human authorities in the government, church, work and in the home the way God commands us to.  Whenever God gives authority, it is to protect those under the authority, to provide for them and to bless them.

It is the world that says authority is oppression.

In God’s economy for believers – we actually GAIN FREEDOM when we live under the authority of Christ, of the Bible and of those in God-given positions of authority over us.


God made male and female people in His image. We are all image bearers of God. Galatians 3:28 says that in Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, etc… We are all equal in God’s eyes as people of worth and value – men and women.

I uphold the value of men and women as children of God when they are believers in Christ. And those who do not yet know Christ – are deeply loved by Jesus – so much so that He died on their behalf for them to have access to Himself, the Father and heaven.  All people are image bearers of God and derive their worth from the God who created them.


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