My husband figured out years ago that there is a very easy way to get me to calm down when I am angry with him or just upset about something in general.  I don’t get angry with him much anymore, but this always worked – every single time years ago.  And even now, if I do get sad, he immediately does this and it works wonders!


If he holds me and hugs me, I just can’t be angry with him. 

Sometimes, because I used to be extremely stubborn – I would KNOW that I needed to go to him and hug him.  But I just couldn’t seem to make myself do it.  He would hold his arms out to me, and I felt frozen and like I just couldn’t make myself go to him.  I would sometimes stand there for 5 minutes, struggling and fighting inside – part of me wanting to run to him, part of him refusing to go to him and his love, hanging on tightly to my anger.  Many times years ago – the stubborn part won out, sadly.

Guys who may be reading this – if this happens, maybe what worked for me will work for your girl?  If my husband would just reach for me, or come put his arms around me – I would melt and most of the anger would go away – before we even talked about anything.

Ladies, if your man doesn’t come to you, see if you can force yourself to go sit beside him and put your head on his shoulder and put your arms around his neck.  See how angry you feel when he is hugging you.  If you’re like me – that hug will make almost all the anger dissolve and you’ll feel loved, safe and protected.

Once you are hugging each other – then you can softly whisper your fears or your sadness or your pain.  Your man can hear those things so much better than anger, verbal attacks, yelling and blaming.

I’d like you to try this the next time you are together and things start to get tense and let me know how it goes!

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