There was a lie I believed when I was young, after I had been teased and mocked a few times about my lack of a chest:
No guy would ever be able to be attracted to me.
I bought that lie. I believed it so entirely for years that when there were guys who liked me, I often didn’t notice at all. I would dismiss the way they treated me with attention and wanting to talk with me as, “They must just want to be friends. There is no way they could like me romantically. I know how guys think – they all are only attracted to women who look one certain way.” Even if they told me they were interested in me, I often didn’t believe them. I believed the lie instead. It became a “fixed belief” in my life. But it wasn’t true!
I want women to know that even though our culture may say that women have to all look like Barbie dolls, there are lots of different kinds of men in this world with different tastes.
There are men who prefer really thin women without a lot of curves. There are men who prefer very curvy, plus-sized women. There are men who love dark skin. There are men who love pale skin. There are men who love freckles. There are men who are attracted to tall women and men who are attracted to short women. There are men who mostly focus on a woman’s face, eyes, and personality and are pretty flexible about the rest. There are some men who are extremely visual and some who really aren’t. God loves variety. He made a variety of women. And He made a variety of men. We are not all exactly the same – and we can praise God for that! How boring it would be if we all were completely identical!
Just because you don’t perfectly fit our society’s standard of physical beauty does not mean you aren’t attractive to some men.
Please, don’t do what I did in Junior High and High School. Don’t assume that all guys think the exact same way and that all men are only attracted to one particular feminine figure and that is it. Don’t reject yourself for them before they even have a chance to make a decision to be attracted to you.
Instead, receive all of the good things the Lord has to say about you as His daughter. Be comfortable in your own body. Own your femininity. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Your body and your femininity are gifts from the Lord just for you. You don’t have to look or act just like someone else. You don’t have to dress just like someone else. You don’t have to compare yourself to other people.
You can be comfortable and secure in your body and your femininity because you belong to Jesus and He gave you this precious gift that no one can steal from you.
I think it is helpful to realize that while looks are part of what is attractive to godly men, there is a lot more to it for them than that.
- When a woman has a beautiful body, she may initially look very appealing. But if she has ugly attitudes, they will make her look extremely unattractive to godly men.
- If a woman has a body that isn’t magazine perfect, but she has Light in her eyes, joy in her heart, and she appreciates her own femininity, loves masculinity, and loves the Lord, she can look very appealing to some godly men.
10 Things That Are Generally Unattractive to Most Godly Men:
- A woman who is arrogant, self-righteous, or prideful.
- A woman who has a critical, judgmental spirit.
- A controlling woman.
- A woman who is often upset, angry, or negative.
- A woman whose emotions control her.
- A woman who dresses or acts in provocative, immodest ways.
- A woman who freaks out a lot, who is full of worry and fear.
- A woman who is needy, clingy, or demanding.
- A woman who curses and insults others.
- A woman who is extremely high maintenance.
10 Things That Are Generally Attractive to Most Godly Men:
- A woman who is comfortable in her skin, enjoys her femininity, and takes care of herself in a healthy way.
- A woman whose smile lights up the room who loves life.
- A woman who is positive, joyful, and fun to be around.
- A woman who treats others, including him, with godly love, respect, and dignity.
- A woman who is friendly, kind, and warm.
- A woman who seeks to understand men and who appreciates and admires godly masculinity.
- A woman who dresses modestly, often in a feminine, classy way.
- A woman who is in control of her emotions.
- A woman who is full of peace, courage, and great faith in Christ. She is unshakable.
- A woman who uses her words to speak life, healing, wisdom, and blessing to others.
NOTE – If you are a believer in Christ, please be sure only to date men who are truly seeking to live for Jesus as Lord, as well. Scripture reveals that this is God’s will for us, only to marry a man who is “in the Lord.” Here are some posts about that:
Can You Date a Non-Christian? – by Justin Campbell
Red Flags – Part 1
Red Flags – Part 2