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There are some questions that just rub a lot of men the wrong way. This may be a surprise.  Some of these things may vary depending on the individual man you are talking with, but, some words and some questions almost always come across disrespectfully. (I am assuming you are pursuing Christ with all your heart and that any man you are involved with is doing the same. Many of the things in this post would apply even with men in the workplace, in your family and at church. And a lot of these things may be handy with women, too.)


– “Why would you…?”

– “Why did you …?”  (Why implies that you don’t trust his judgement or that you think what he did was stupid.)

– “How could you…?”

–  Asking lots of questions about every detail about how he made his decision – this can easily feel like an interrogation or an inquisition to a man.

– Just a general large number of questions about many topics can sometimes feel “mothering” and be off-putting to a man.


QUESTIONS MEN APPRECIATE GENERALLY (if you are being friendly, interested in him as a human being and make sure he doesn’t feel like he is being interrogated):

– “What is your greatest dream in life?”

–  “What do you enjoy?”

– “What do you think?”

–  “What seems best to you?”

– “What is your perspective on this?”

– “What has been on your mind lately?”

– “What may I pray about for you?”

– “What would you like to do?”

– “If money were no object, what would you love to spend your life doing?”

– “What topics interest you the most?”

– “What was your childhood like?”

– “What is most important to you as we approach this decision?”

– “What are your greatest priorities here?”

– “What is it like to look at this from a masculine perspective?”

– “Do you find that you think in words, pictures, silent movies, equations  or something else?”

– “How do men process emotions?”

– “How do you think that guy feels right now after what just happened?”

– “What do you think men need most from women/in relationships?”

– “How would you describe your dad/mom?”

– “What are some of your most vivid memories as a child/in middle school/in high school?”

– “If you could travel anywhere, where would you want to go and why?”

– “What is your favorite book/passage/verse in the Bible?”

– “What do you know now that you wish you knew as a teenager?”

– “What are your greatest aspirations?”


What speaks respect to men?

What speaks disrespect to men?

How to bless our men with respect

Signs your man is feeling disrespected by you

Figuring out what is disrespectful to your man

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