Unfortunately, there are men in the world who claim Christ who treat women as inferior to themselves. Many times, these are very controlling, selfish, arrogant, ungodly men.
If you have a guy who comes on VERY quickly with an extremely charming, magnetic personality, who pushes for you to be with him and isolates you from your family and friends and wants you to move in within a few weeks or get married within a month or two – BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!
Some warning signs of a very controlling, manipulative, unhealthy man:
- He is very smooth with words and knows EXACTLY what to say to get you to feel drawn romantically towards him.
- He starts out giving a lot of compliments and flirting and joking, but gradually, the compliments turn to attempts to control how you wear your hair, how you dress, what you do, who you can talk to, where you can go, when you can leave, etc. And if you do not do what he wants, he will demand that you obey him.
- He talks a lot about that you must submit to him or follow him.
- He does not apologize or admit wrong – EVER.
- He treats women more as objects or property than real people with feelings and thoughts and personalities.
- He physically gets violent with you
- He has rage issues and an uncontrollable temper with anyone.
- He blames you 100% for the problems in the relationship.
- He does not allow you to share your opinions or thoughts.
- He expects you to always agree with him.
- He follows you to work or around town.
- He gets really angry and jealous if you talk with other people in an innocent way – ie: talking to your customers and smiling to them at work. He especially gets unreasonably upset if you talk to other guys – not in a flirting way, just a normal way. If he gets into a rage because you smiled and said a few sentences to a guy who rang you up at the store, that is not good!
- He pressures you for sexual intimacy and pushes your boundaries and limits.
- He discredits your friends, family and pastor.
- He believes only he understands God and the Bible and no one else is as “enlightened”
If you are seeing a lot of these signs – and in some cases, even one of these signs – please seek godly counsel. Do not quickly marry a man like this! Wait and take time to see his true character. Pray and seek God’s wisdom!
If you need to talk about a situation you are in – leave me a comment!