Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

Here are some suggestions to prayerfully consider, my dear sisters. The most important thing is to be sensitive to what you believe God leads you to do and to do what you need to do to protect yourself from temptation and to stay as close to Christ as possible. Abide in Him constantly! (John 15)


I would encourage you to have a godly woman (your mom, a friend, a mentoring wife at your church – someone who is deep in her faith in Christ) to be your accountability partner when you email/text a man. Obviously, there would be some circumstances (like at work) where this may not be feasible. But if you are corresponding with a man electronically, there can be a lot of wisdom in having a third party involved for the sake of accountability. This will help to prevent things from getting out of hand or from moving in a sinful direction. It will help you focus on getting to know this man’s character instead of getting completely caught up in emotions or in talking about sexual fantasies.

I don’t like the idea of making a lot of rules for “dating” or “courting.” But I think that this would be a way to protect  your heart and sexuality as well as the man’s heart and sexuality.

Of course, be sure you are honest with the godly man (I am assuming that you are only going to be doing much electronic correspondence with truly godly men) you are speaking to about that you will be copying someone on all emails/texts. It wouldn’t be right to do this without telling him.


I believe there is a lot of wisdom in not being alone with guys. That is one goal I have for myself even now. My suggestion is to meet in public places with men in general. I also would recommend that if you are going on dates – that you not spend a lot of time alone in the car together. It could be wise to have another couple with you or some friends with you – or even a younger brother or sister. This is a matter of “making no provision for the flesh.”

Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. Romans 13:13-14

I would suggest not meeting in bars or dance clubs where promiscuity and drinking are promoted or expected. I want to see my brothers and sisters being completely sober at all times – filled with the Spirit, not drunk with wine. (Ephesians 5:18)

I would also suggest that if you are going to one of your houses – that someone else be there and that the doors be open between the room where you are and the other person/people are so that you both know that other people will be coming in and out or that they will be in the same room with you.


Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. I Corinthians 6:18-20


What are some of the ways God has prompted you to guard your heart that you might like to share as a blessing with our sisters (and brothers)?


The Blessing of Celibacy

Breaking Up with an Unbelieving Guy

Is It Wise to Be Close Friends with Unbelieving Guys?

Stand Firm, My Dear Sisters!

Boundaries with Men

The Tragedy of the Hook Up Culture

Submitting Sexual Desire to Christ

Is Casual Sex Compatible with Christianity?

Sexual Immorality Leads Away from Marriage


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