I have been thinking about the days leading up to the time of the Great Tribulation a lot lately. The “birth pangs” sure have been coming very quickly that Jesus described would happen before the church is raptured. One particular scripture passage keeps coming to my mind is about single women in the last days in the church:
- But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone. 2 Tim. 3:1-9
I know that this passage is not very flattering regarding the men or women who are described here. But I think we, as women who desire to follow Christ wholeheartedly, need to know what this passage says so that we don’t fall prey to such men. Unfortunately, many women, even in the church, ARE allowing men just like this into their homes and lives. That has to stop, my dear sisters!
First, note that the passage describes the kind of people who will be living in the last days before Jesus’ return. It sure seems like a pretty accurate description of our world today. But what is most concerning to me is that these are men and women who are apparently in the church community. The men could be teachers or leaders in the church. They may profess Christ. But the fruit of their lives shows that they do not belong to Him. We can’t just blindly accept a man’s word that he is a “Christian.” We must wisely and prayerfully vet any potential boyfriend/husband against the Word of God rightly. And we must be willing to ruthlessly and rightly examine ourselves spiritually in light of the Bible, as well.
What does this passage say about the women who receive these ungodly men?
- Loaded down with sins.
- Swayed by all kinds of evil desires.
- Always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.
- Willing to yield control of their lives to depraved men who have been rejected by the Lord.
Let’s be willing to get rid of anything in our hearts, our thinking, and our lives that doesn’t square with scripture. The Bible is our source of absolute truth. Not our feelings. Not our culture. Not what is politically correct. Not what our pastor says, necessarily. Not our experiences with our parents. We must compare our own motives and thoughts to the Bible rightly and reject anything that is not of the Lord.
One of the problems the Lord identifies for the women of the last days before the time of the Great Tribulation, is that they are easily deceived. This word is also sometimes translated, “weak willed.” They accept men into their lives despite the obvious red flags. This list is an excellent list of major red flags that Christian women (and men) should be able and willing to discern. Then what is the counsel the Bible gives us?
“Have nothing to do with such people.”
One of the problems we sometimes have today, as believing women, is that we tend to think, “This guy who is so troubled is just a ‘sweet little lost puppy.’ If I could just have the chance to love him, I can change him. My love will transform him and help him to become the godly man he should be. I can save him. I can fix him.”
That is not what scripture admonishes us to do. We are not to date or marry a man like this. Cockiness, arrogance, harshness, and pride are not the same thing as godly masculine strength and leadership. We are to completely avoid a man like this. We aren’t to even befriend such a man. We are not the Savior. We can’t change him. We can’t fix him. If we think we can, we are deceiving ourselves and we will pay a high price for inviting such a man into our lives. We can certainly pray for those who are far from the Lord. But we need to follow God’s instructions and be alert, making decisions with the leading and wisdom of the Spirit.
It is wise to have godly parents, especially a godly father, a godly brother, or a godly mentoring couple in your life – people who are wholeheartedly seeking to live for Christ as Lord – who can speak into your life. Sometimes infatuation or desperation can blind us. Sometimes emotions and romance can blind us. It is wise to have some godly people around who can help you examine the character of a potential spouse early on in the process and who can help you examine your own character, as well.
Ultimately, of course, the decision about whether to date or marry a man is between you, the Lord, and the man. But please don’t marry a man who is clearly exhibiting the red flags in this passage and is unrepentant. That is unwise.
- We should be using this same wisdom about what kind of friends we have that are women, as well.
LOADED DOWN WITH SINS AND SWAYED BY ALL KINDS OF EVIL DESIRES
Some of the issues I believe may be creating problems for some women today are things like:
- Idolatry of romance, having a boyfriend, engagement, and marriage.
- Desperation for a man above hunger for the Lord.
- Fascination with worldly, “cool,” and “exciting” men over godly, holy, and Spirit-filled men.
- Taking on other people’s responsibility as our own. Becoming a “mother” figure to a man and trying to be completely responsible for him emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc… as if he is a young child. That won’t work!
- Finding our security and contentment in a man rather than in Jesus alone.
- Lust, sexual immorality, porn addiction, etc…
- Idolatry of happiness.
- People Pleasing – desiring people’s approval over God’s approval.
- Unbelief in the Lord and His Word.
- Ignorance of the Bible and the truth of God with no solid spiritual understanding upon which to build their lives.
- Greed, materialism, the pursuit of pleasure, the pursuit of wealth and luxury.
- Pride and self-righteousness – the idea that I really don’t have much sin in my life, I am “good enough” apart from Jesus, or other people are much worse sinners than I am.
- Drug/alcohol/food addictions.
- Finding our worth as women in worldly things, ideas, and people rather than in Jesus.
- Exchanging the truth of God for lies (replacing the truth of the Bible with things like evolution, political correctness, social marxism, radical feminism) – this is apostasy, when the church or people in the church purposely reject God’s Word, His authority, and His truth and substitute lies in its’ place.
ALWAYS LEARNING BUT NEVER ABLE TO COME TO A KNOWLEDGE OF THE TRUTH
Many women in the church read constantly about godly marriage and becoming a godly woman, but some of the sins I mentioned in the last section keep them blinded. The fruit of their lives does not show godliness. It is easy to come to Jesus to try to get Him to give us the things we really want the most – marriage, family, children, etc… We sometimes try to use Him as a means to an end.
He will not allow us to use Him to try to grasp for our selfish desires.
We must come to Jesus simply to have God. If we really desire other things more than we want God, we can read all the Christian blogs and literature in the world, but we are still going to be a big mess and we will be vulnerable to the temptation to allow an ungodly man to have control over our lives.
WILLING TO YIELD CONTROL TO A DEPRAVED MAN
There are plenty of men who profess Jesus, who claim to want a godly marriage, who can quote the Bible, who talk about masculine leadership, maybe who even go to church regularly – but who don’t know the Lord personally and who have not been transformed by Him. Of course, the same is true for many women.
If you see a man who has ungodly fruit in his life and is unrepentant and unchanged, and you give control of your life to him, you are choosing a very miserable life. Being single is infinitely better than being married to a man who is unloving, cruel, abusive, toxic, hateful, controlling, demeaning, derogatory, and power-hungry. If you notice a man wants total control or has signs of narcissism, avoid that man. If a man claims that a husband is supposed to have 100% authority over his wife, equal to or greater than God’s authority, even if he asks her to sin – avoid marrying that man. If he expects you to worship him or treat him as equal to or higher than Jesus – RUN!
Godly spiritual authority, according to Jesus, is not about lording power over people like unbelievers do. It is about servant hearted, humble, selfless, loving leadership like Jesus demonstrated for us.
- Real godly masculinity and godly leadership looks like this.
- Real spiritual authority in God’s kingdom looks like this.
- Here is a scripture passage that describes what to look for in pastors and deacons – this is an excellent description of what a truly godly man should look like. THIS is the kind of believer to marry. This is the kind of believer to be yourself, too, in many ways.
Real godliness has Christlike fruit. Prayerfully compare yourself and your prospective man to real godliness as defined by the Lord:
- The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Gal. 5:22-23
- Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. I Cor. 13:4-8
A RELATED PASSAGE:
- But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people. 1 Cor. 5:11
What issues have you seen that contribute to women who profess Christ choosing ungodly men? What do you believe is the solution? If God has given you wisdom about things like this that you would like to share, you are welcome to share.
PRAY WITH ME:
Help us to repent of any sin in our own hearts. Help us seek Your wisdom and avoid falling into this trap that Your Word warns us about. Let us see danger and avoid it as we seek You wholeheartedly above all else.
- How to Have a Saving Relationship with Christ Jesus
- The Lordship of Christ
- Emotionally Destructive Relationship Quiz by Leslie Vernick
- Signs of an Abusive Boyfriend – Leslie Vernick
- Godly Masculinity
- Godly Femininity
- How Can I Tell If I Am Ready to Be a Godly Wife?
- Red Flags
- Red Flags Part 2
- Information on the end times and what to expect – a class taught by a woman at my church on Revelation.