A guest post by Fortified by Christ, I appreciate her sharing her story:
I got married for the first time at the age of 39, which meant that I had a lot of single dating years under my belt and therefore a lot of break-up experiences. I’m sharing my story of how I bounced back from being suddenly dumped through the power and grace of God in Christ. I hope that it blesses you and inspires you to build your emotional house on the steady foundation of a relationship with Jesus Christ.
“You changed my mourning into dancing;
You took off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness” Psalm 30:12
Between Christmas 2013 and New Year’s 2014, my boyfriend who had expressed interest in marrying me for many months suddenly pulled away without an explanation. He stopped calling and stopped responding to my phone calls or text messages. He had lost his job a few weeks earlier and it seemed that he couldn’t deal with a relationship. I was deeply hurt and shocked that he would cut me off so completely after having had such a close relationship.
It was a terrible way to start a year but even then, in a state of sadness, confusion and heartache, I knew that my Jesus would make a bleak start to a year into something glorious. I knew my Jesus would turn my mourning into dancing.
I knew that because Jesus makes all things new. Our Savior triumphed over a bleak Friday afternoon where he was stripped naked, scourged, mocked, insulted, abandoned by many of his closest friends and crucified. He transformed agony, humiliation, misery and death into an incredible resurrection and became a gateway to heaven for all who love him. For the past two thousand years and into eternity, he will be continuously praised and glorified for his great victory over death and sin. His mourning became dancing, not just for himself but for countless others.
Because of him, we have no reason to dwell in misery. He can change our break-up sorrows and all of our single-girl trials into joy…if we choose to turn to him.
Knowing the Security of the Divine Lover of My Soul:
After the end of a relationship I thought would last forever, I relied more heavily on Christ, the one man who would never leave me. I used my free time to read Scripture and started a prayer journal. I clung to him like never before and came to know him as the only person I should trust in completely; the only person who is infallible and unfailing in his devotion to me. My heart began to sing the song of Psalm 16: 8-11:
“I keep the Lord always before me;
With the Lord at my right, I shall never be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, my soul rejoices;
My body also dwells secure,
For you will not abandon me to Sheol,
Nor let your faithful servant see the pit.
You will show me the path to life;
Abounding joy in your presence,
The delights at your right hand forever”
He truly changed my mourning into dancing. I had been stirred by the sudden break-up, but I was not shaken. The break-up actually compelled me to build my emotional house on a Rock, rather than the shifting sand of a human relationship. My mind, heart and soul became sturdier than ever, having been built on the Rock of Christ.
Diving Deeper into “Pure and Undefiled Religion” to Share His Joy with Others:
- “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: To care for orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained by the world” (James 1:27)
Without a boyfriend, I had more free time than before so I chose to double my volunteer efforts at the children’s home that had captured my heart. Rather than volunteer one afternoon a week, I decided to visit the home twice a week. I helped to arrange fun outings for all the kids and volunteers. Between helping with homework, practicing letters and numbers, playing with puzzles and coloring books, singing songs praising God, parting arguments and giving out kisses and hugs to precious children, I got lots of love, kisses and hugs in return and I found more joy than I had ever known.
He changed my mourning into dancing…and enabled me to share his joy with others.
He Makes All Things New:
- “Behold, God’s dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away. The one who sat on the throne said “Behold, I make all things new.” Then he said “Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:4-5
Ladies, no matter how deeply hurt you are by a break-up, Jesus is here to change your mourning into dancing. There is no wound so deep that Christ cannot heal it. No break-up you will ever go through can compare to the unfathomable power of our Savior to transform your pain into joy. He can heal your heart, make you happier than ever and ultimately give you opportunities to bring his joy to others.
Turn to him right now. Come to know him through prayer and scripture. Let his word truly abide in you (John 15:7). Just twenty minutes a day with your Bible and a notebook to record your inspirations and prayers can change your heart and mind in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. Ask him how he wants you to serve him. Seek ways to bring love, hope and joy to others. Your single years give you ample opportunities to serve the Lord in the poor and lonely. Look for a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, or children’s home in your community and share some of Christ’s love with those who need it.
If you are looking for inspiration for serve others, look up articles on Katie Davis, an American missionary who used her single years powerfully and adopted 14 underprivileged children by the age of 22. As you can read in Revelation 21, Jesus assures you that he will wipe away all of your tears, heartache and pain and make you new.
I hope this has been a blessing to you. Please comment with stories about your own break-ups and other heartaches and how you are seeking healing and transformation through Christ.