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enjoying a sunny afternoon

This is a continuation of a 29 year old Christian single man’s thoughts about Godly Femininity

  • Another thing that I believe blesses men is a woman with little to no insecurity in her femininity.

I might have a hard time explaining this. I have a certain Christian woman in mind who I knew for a long time. Whatever insecurities (or legitimate imperfections) she did have, I was very happy that she was pleased to be a feminine woman, and a sort of confidence in it such that she didn’t fear how she compared to other women. I think it’s pretty similar to a man being confident in his masculinity, not feeling inferior to other men, though of course also similar in that sometimes this can surely become arrogance.

That’s how it seemed at least. Of course, I’m mostly happy about that for her sake, but I think that sort of confidence in a woman is great. Men and women both should challenge themselves for improvement in their respective ways, to be sure, but just the security in herself is reassuring. Insecure folks can add fear to an atmosphere–not to beat up anyone, heaven forbid! Except to say that it’s another thing that I think is a blessing to herself and others in addition to herself.

It is certainly wonderful, for everyone, for women to be feminine and happy in so doing!

  • I saw an interaction between this friend of mine and another man–a very maternal one, despite that he was older than she. He was a traumatized war vet on his way to passing away from war wounds.

This man was VERY rough around the edges! She was a very proper, polite, discrete, well-mannered woman–very old-school. Most women would have steered clear of this man because of his rough and crude mannerisms. But from what I saw, she was so tolerating, she wept for him.

His wife left him after he came back wounded from war. This woman I know showed him so much gentle compassion, and eventually persuaded him to try and contact his wife, and he got to see his wife and children again before he passed away. The effect she had on him was just amazing, and again, I’ve never seen a woman show such tolerance and patience with a man whose crude mannerisms would scare away most.  Her gentleness and respect was very steadfast and the effect she had on him was huge.

  • You know another thing that’s cool and reflects some feminine sensitivity, is in general smoothing over the awkwardness. Sometimes women can really tell if a man feels like he’s walking on eggshells and can communicate on a subtle level “everything’s okay, don’t worry.”

Again, really subtle stuff.

  • Today I walked past a woman who gave a really warm smile and it just blindsided me somehow. Ladies smile all the time, but this total stranger just had a kindness in (her) that almost made me tremble as I headed where I was going.


I recently asked a female friend this question: Suppose you were outside with your daughter (age 9), and you saw that a terrible car accident was about to occur, probably with gruesome loss of life. Would you instinctively cover her eyes?
She said, “Of course.”I asked her, “Why?”
She did not have an immediate answer, so I answered for her. I said. “You are trying to preserve her innocence.The knowledge of life’s horrors will come soon enough, and we protect the innocence of our children the same way we would protect a precious piece of art, or vase.”
I asked her if she would cover my eyes – and, well, of course not.We don’t want to see marred that which is still beautiful in its purity. Children, while they are still innocent provide a momentary path back to our own innocence, and a temporary escape from our daily knowledge of good and evil, to slyly work in a reference to fall of Adam and Eve.You can come home from a horrible day, with financial trouble, personal problems, health issues, whatever, and if your child runs over to greet you, saying “Daddy, I drew you a picture”, however brief, you can escape the world’s grip.

To a much smaller degree, this applies to a traditional (godly) marriage. Any man who I would consider worthy of the title would always seek to provide some measure of protection to his wife from life’s ugliness. Now, we live in a fallen age, and there are many women who have grown up in war-torn nations, widowed early, and live in daily fear, but that is nothing more than the evidence that Satan is loose in the world.

A woman’s lightness of heart and joy – even if bordering on the frivolous – is a refreshing escape from daily trials. Of course, a wife is a full grown adult and the goal is not to repress or turn her into an adult child,

The aim is to protect her from the worst of what life brings, so as to protect the spark of joy that she has, that female romantic/affection/sexual energy that is the one thing that a man cannot get for himself. 

I guess we are all looking for glimmers of the Kingdom, and small scraps of experiencing it, at least until the time when we have it permanently.


A Spirit-filled woman of God has power that FAR surpasses anything the world may try to sell us!

How do we develop godly femininity?

  • We know who we are in Christ and we find all of our identity, purpose, joy, strength, peace and fulfillment in Him ALONE.
  • We are willing to die to self, die to pride, destroy the old sinful nature and live in complete submission to Jesus Christ as LORD allowing Him to make in us a new heart and new mind.
  • We learn to discard the wisdom of the world about femininity, romance, relationships, dating and marriage and embrace God’s design for femininity and masculinity.
  • We learn to stop arguing, complaining, criticizing, lecturing and being negative.  We learn to stop giving men directives, but rather, to give suggestions and to speak our minds and hearts with humility, respect, good manners and with a calm, gentle, non-threatening tone of voice and body language.
  • We stop trying to force our own way and we seek God’s will and His purposes.
  • We look at the world God has made in wide-eyed wonder and joy.
  • We allow God to develop in us a peaceful, still, gentle spirit that totally depends on His sovereignty and trusts in Him to work all things for our ultimate good and His ultimate glory.
  • We are full of faith in Christ.
  • We learn to appreciate the beautiful differences God purposely created in men and women.
  • We learn to stand in awe of godly masculinity and we realize that when we see godly masculinity  – we are catching a glimpse into the mystery of the very heart of God!
  • We learn to use our verbal gifts, our gifts of empathy, our gifts of nurturing, our gifts of emotion to bless and do good to those around us.
  • We learn to use our words to build others up and strengthen their faith in God.
  • We learn to protect others and not gossip or use our words to tear down, injure, kill and destroy.
  • We learn to embrace and cherish times of waiting as we trust God’s wisdom and His timing even when we don’t know how things can work out well.
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