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A guest post by Surrenderedgirl – I am excited to share what God is doing in her life. May her post bless your walk with Christ, as well:

I met my boyfriend on a college church retreat at the beach. He was the first boyfriend I ever had, and he swept me off my feet. He became my world, and I thought he was perfect. He had everything I wanted in a man; he was handsome, sweet, and a christian. What more could a girl ask for? We hung out as often as we could, usually several times a week for hours on end.

My boyfriend wanted to make my first kiss special, so he decided that we would wait until we had dating a month until we kissed. When the time came, we had our first kiss, but it quickly turned into full on making-out. After it happened, I immediately broke down in tears in front of him, and told him I thought we were doing too much physically. So we made the plan to wait another three months to kiss again. It was a noble plan, and we successfully went a whole three months without a single kiss. However, my boyfriend became creative with other ways we could be close without kissing. In his defense, he is naturally a very affectionate and loving person. Unfortunately this led to us spending a lot of time cuddling and kissing.

Unfortunately, this struggle continued for months in our relationship. I was fine with holding hands, but we usually ended up making out. I was too naive and passive, so I usually just let things happen. One day, things went beyond just making-out to inappropriate touching. I was devastated, I couldn’t believe he would do this to me. The next day, I had lunch with my parents and told them what happened (from April – GOOD plan! Seeking out godly advice and accountability is very important – secrecy fuels the temptation). They advised me to be cautious with him and told me that if he kept this up I shouldn’t continue dating him.

So my boyfriend and I set more boundaries in our relationship, and thankfully it never happened again. However we continued spending a lot of time kissing and cuddling.

Eventually, I lost my dream of having a completely pure relationship.

I knew deep down that God was calling me to stop what we were doing, but I had become so used to it that it seemed normal. I would even try to justify why it wasn’t so bad. Occasionally I would feel a nudging from God telling me that what we were doing was wrong, but I still didn’t really know what to do about it.

After we had been dating for several months, this became a source of resentment for me toward my boyfriend. I knew I should stop things, but I also felt that if he really loved me and God he would just do the right thing. I would get frustrated because I would talk to him about it and things would get better for a while, but we were never consistent.

I was always praying that God would change my boyfriend. I mean it was his fault we were sinning, right?

I began to realize that God also wanted to change me through this situation. I would tell my boyfriend how we needed to stop making-out, but then I wouldn’t stop things when we were. I wanted my boyfriend to just change, but I didn’t want to have to go against him to make the change. When I began to pray that God would change me too, that’s when I began to see real change in our relationship.

  • I became more bold and I learned to say no to my boyfriend.
  • I learned I had to be persistent to get my point across to him.
  • I also learned that I had to actually put into practice what I was preaching to my boyfriend.
  • I also came to the realization that my boyfriend wasn’t forcing me to sin, I was allowing it to happen.

Eventually, I began to have hope that our relationship could be pure again. I believe God used this struggle to help me learn to stand up for what I know is right. If my boyfriend had been perfect all along, I may never have learned this valuable lesson.


Guarding Your Heart and Chastity

“I Made My Boyfriend into an Idol” by Surrenderedgirl

What Are Your Boundaries with Men?

Submitting Sexual Desire to the Lord – by Justin Campbell

Is Sex Outside of Marriage Compatible with Christianity?

Sexual Immorality Leads Away from Marriage – by Justin Campbell

The Blessing of Celibacy – by Jason


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