God’s Word warns us that there will be “wolves in sheep’s clothing” in the church.
1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
6They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone. – 2 Timothy 3
I want to be sure that my sisters in Christ are aware:
There are men who frequent church single groups (and other places) who are there for one thing – to target Christian women and “conquer” them. They especially like to target virgins. But many of them will also target any Christian woman who sincerely desires to honor God and pursue Christ in her life. Why? Why do they do this? Because it is a challenge. And it gives them “bragging rights” – to their friends, but also among real Christian men. Sometimes, it is as if the whole thing is a sport, a game, a competition for the “prize.”
Look at the verses above. CHECK the man you are interested in against this passage!!!! PLEASE!
BE AWARE OF THE TACTICS OF THESE MEN:
- They tend to flirt brazenly.
- They are arrogant, cocky and rude.
- They focus on material pleasures and making lots of money.
- They often insult men in the group who are true disciples of Christ as part of their strategy to make other men look weak and to make themselves look strong in your eyes.
- Sometimes they will use insults to grab your attention and “hook” you to begin the process of creating attraction in you. When a man insults you – your natural response is to want to prove him wrong. So sometimes these men will insult you in some way and act like you are “not good enough” for them. This is one approach. They act like they don’t care a thing about you. Then, you will be tempted to try to prove them wrong – that you ARE good enough for them, that you are worthy of them dating you. This is a game for these men. Some of them are EXTREMELY good at this.
- These men come into your life, quickly sweep you off your feet, say the things they know will trigger attraction, sexually conquer you and then leave you broken.
- They won’t forgive you if you do something against them.
- They tend to be very take charge and dominating. That is, admittedly, very attractive to women. They take great delight in insulting Christian men and then drawing and attracting Christian women to themselves and mocking our brothers in Christ because the wolves know how to carnally attract women and are willing to go about it in ways that many sincere Christian men would never stoop to.
If you see a guy who insults people – that is a red flag. A true godly man will have humility. An ungodly man will be cocky and will not care about other people or demonstrate the love of Christ in his attitude, words and actions.
- They often push to quickly begin physical contact and to make the relationship exclusive. They begin taking control. They may start to tell you how to dress and how to wear your hair. They may tell you to stop talking to certain other people and only talk to them. They may attempt to sever your connection to your family. These guys can be so persuasive and authoritative, that many women happily and willingly succumb to their “leadership” at first. The feelings a man like this can produce in women are very intoxicating. It is infatuation. It is manipulation. Many times – it is all a mirage. Yes, they are strong leaders – but they will lead you FAR, FAR from God. They will lead you to a place of grief and brokenness. Check out Proverbs 3-7. These guys will lead to “death” just like the adulteress in these passages in Proverbs.
Please, don’t follow a man just because he is attractive, “magnetic” and a strong leader.
WAIT. Go VERY SLOWLY. Look at the fruit in this man’s life. Have your godly dad or older brother or pastor or a wise older woman in the church meet this man. Get their advice. Pray.
What powers this man – the sinful nature or the Spirit of God? Ideally, you will find a man who is a strong leader – but who is submitted fully to the authority of God and the Bible, hopefully also a Bible-teaching, Bible-living church. Don’t fall for a man who is controlled by his sinful nature! You will ALWAYS regret that!
If you see a man who has several of the qualities listed in 2 Timothy 3. What does God’s Word say?
HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM! Do NOT try to be friends with him!
WHAT KIND OF WOMEN DO THESE MEN TARGET?
Weak willed women who are loaded down with sins and swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.
Not a very favorable description. I don’t want ANY of us to be easy prey for these wolves. Let’s pray that God change us if this is how we are! Let us seek Jesus with all our hearts and be filled with His Spirit and quick to hear and obey His voice.
Our will must be fully submitted to Jesus, to the point that in everything we pray, “Not my will, but Yours be done, Lord!”
If we don’t see clear evidence of the fruit of God’s Spirit in ourselves, Galatians 5:22-23, we either haven’t given our lives to Christ as Savior and Lord, or we have sin we are cherishing in our hearts and we need to repent and yield fully to Christ again. We cannot hold in to greed, self-righteousness, lust, sex outside of marriage, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, gossip, idolatry (trying to find contentment in something or someone other than Jesus).
We must know God’s Word, love God’s Word and obey God’s Word by the Spirit of God empowering us.
If a worldly, ungodly man captures our attention, let’s quickly turn to Christ and remove ourselves from the presence and influence of that man, guarding our hearts and protecting our virtue and chastity. Let’s desire to please and honor God above all else!
WHAT I AM SEEING IN MARRIAGES
I can’t tell you how many wives write to me on my site www.peacefulwife.com, crushed because they thought the guy they married was a Christian. Many times, a guy like this will leave you quickly. But some will push for marriage – and then it turns out – it was all an act. There is no fruit of Christ at all in their lives. Many of these women rushed into marriage without questioning the character of their man. They listened to emotions and are paying a HEAVY price now – they and their children pay dearly for these kinds of mistakes. Being married to a man who does not submit himself FULLY to Christ is MISERY!!!!!!!!
One minister at our church said, “Never place a man in a position of authority over others until he has learned to live UNDER authority himself.”
Unquestioning obedience to a human spiritual authority is NOT biblical. We are to obey God rather than men if we must choose! There are times when we must NOT cooperate with people in positions of God-given authority over us – if they ask us to clearly violate scripture.
THE TEST – what fruit is in this man’s life?
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Remember my precious sisters – the antiChrist, himself, is going to be attractive, magnetic, intelligent, very persuasive and a strong leader. Hitler was a charismatic leader. Just because a man has amazing leadership skills, can flirt very well, knows what to say to make you “feel like he understands you so well” and attends church sometimes, claiming to be a “Christian” – that is not proof that he is a truly godly man!
WHAT TO LOOK FOR:
Look for the fruit of the Spirit on a consistent basis. Look for a man who desires to lead as Jesus did. Look for a man who is humble. A man who truly understands what it means to have spiritual authority in marriage will be HUMBLE, NOT ARROGANT! Look for a man who can control his temper. Look for a man who cares about your opinions and desires. Look for a man who seeks to submit himself fully to Christ and His Word and who is willing to go to church. Look for a man who truly desires to be more and more like Christ. Watch how he treats his family. Watch how he treats the cashier at the store and the waitress at the restaurant when his order gets messed up. Watch what he does when he doesn’t get his way. How does he react when he gets cut off in traffic? What are his greatest dreams and goals? Does his life line up with God’s Word?
If you are not sure – STOP. WAIT. Seek godly counsel.
Don’t allow a man to pressure you physically and sexually – no matter how amazing he seems at the moment. A godly man will not do this.