Niceness is not the same thing as godliness. People can be “nice” with or without the Spirit of God.
Sometimes being nice and being godly have similar external attributes:
– Smiling
– Friendliness
– Doing things to others.
– Helping people.
But they have different motives and fuel.
Being nice is often about:
– Using being pleasant and agreeable as self-protection or manipulation of others to get them to like me.
– Trying to impress other people.
– Avoiding conflict.
– Being popular.
– Wanting other people’s approval.
– Putting up with abuse.
– Not speaking up when others are bullied or mistreated.
– Going with the flow.
– Being weak.
Jesus was not nice, He was good. He was holy and righteous. He was loving, kind, compassionate, merciful, and self-sacrificing. But niceness was not His goal for Himself or for us.
Being godly is about:
– Acting in the Holy Spirit with God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
– Seeking God’s approval more than anyone else’s.
– Loving God wholeheartedly first and loving people second.
– Doing what is right in God’s eyes with the right motives.
– Standing firmly against anything God says is wrong.
– Speaking up against sin out of love for others and concern for their souls and eternal wellbeing.
– Obeying God even when it is unpopular, even in the face of persecution.
– Seeking to bless others and do what is in their best interest eternally.
– Willing to love sacrificially and be a servant—not out of fear— but out of love for God and people.
– Being respectful of all people but not of evil.
– Defending and protecting those who are mistreated.
– Seeking God’s glory, not mine.
– Being very strong in Christ and in His authority to do good to others and to be the hands and feet for Jesus.
– Being ready to face those who oppose the Lord with love, truth, gentleness, and respect.
– Being willing to upset people in order to please God, when necessary.
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-8
Yes, I just did some research on this after listening to a dating podcast talk about wanting a kind guy instead of a nice guy. Upon my research, nice comes from the Latin word “nescius,” which means ignorant! What a shocker! We so often describe ourselves and others as “nice” and now I know that word has some not-so-nice roots. Then to see this post was like the icing on the cake. Thanks again, April for reminding us of the importance of taking a look at our motives… Pleasing God, not man.
Ash,
It is surprising, isn’t it? “Nice” seems like a good thing. And, of course, there can be different definitions of it. But overall, it is not actually a good thing for a relationship.
I love the podcast topic about being a kind guy rather than a nice guy. A nice guy will have a lot of trouble addressing important issue, confronting sin, and leading in difficult moments. A godly man will do what is right in God’s eyes, even when it is hard. That is the kind of leader we need. A woman can respect a man who is willing to do what is right, even when she doesn’t agree at the time. It’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t have a backbone and who will cave to whatever she wants.
Thanks for sharing!
It’s very eye opening
Beatrice Joe,
I’m glad it was a blessing. Thanks for sharing.