Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash
Strong relationships seem to happen magically on movies and in romantic novels sometimes. But the truth is that strong relationships are built. Whether it is a dating relationship, a friendship, a family relationship, a marriage, or even a relationship with God, there are very specific building blocks that are required for healthy human relationships. These are things that any of us can do – if we are in Christ and we are working in His power. We can’t control other people, but we do get to control our end of things – with God’s help.
RELATIONSHIP DESTROYERS:
- Complaining
- Arguing
- Criticizing
- Negativity, focusing only on the bad
- Perfectionism
- Insults
- Acting like a prosecuting attorney
- Biting sarcasm
- Bitterness/resentment/unforgiveness
- Pride
- Looking outside of God’s will and appropriate relationships for fulfillment – porn, emotional affairs, physical affairs
- Codependency/being enmeshed
- Idolatry of the other person, self, happiness, or marriage, neediness, clinginess
- Entitlement
- Discontentment
- Shutting down/passivity
- Control
- Believing lies about God, others, or ourselves
- Score-keeping
- Manipulation
- Fear, worry
- Neglect, not having enough time together
- Sinful jealousy
- Secret keeping
- Developing inappropriate friends of the opposite sex to confide in
- Comparing our relationships to others
- Unbiblical/unrealistic expectations
- Hatred/contempt
- Gossip/slander
- Selfishness/selfish ambition
- Greed
- Disrespect
- Assuming the worst
- Harshness
- Quick temper
- Busyness
- Abuse – rage, violence
RELATIONSHIP BUILDERS
- Gratitude for the good in the other person, thanksgiving
- Using our words to speak Life
- Focusing on the Philippians 4:8 things about our spouse, our marriage, and life
- Kindness
- Genuine humility
- Vulnerability and honesty
- Serving in love with selflessness
- Spending time together, enjoying each other
- Contentment and joy in Christ
- Submission to the Lordship of Jesus
- Handling conflict biblically without fear and without domination
- Gentleness
- Patience
- Grace
- Faith and trust in each other whenever possible
- Prayer for the other to be blessed
- Flexibility
- Laying down unbiblical, unrealistic expectations
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 kind of love
- Trustworthiness
- Loyalty
- Friendship
- Forgiveness
- Seeking to rebuild damaged/lost trust
- Assuming the best
- Respect/honor for God, the other person, and ourselves (Thinking and acting rightly about these things – in line with God’s Word)
- Guarding our hearts
- Laughing together
- Dreaming together
- Being a safe place for each other emotionally, physically, and in every way.
- Creating time and space for connection.
This week, in your quiet time, invite God to show you the relationship destroyers in your life. Begin to get rid of them all. And invite God to help you begin to practice some relationship builders.
Much love!
If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus as your Savior and Lord – that is your first need. Then He can give you the power to do the marriage/relationship building things.
YOUTUBE NEWS!
Check out my first video skit! It’s under 3 minutes. Dishes with a Martyr. Let me know what you think. 🙂
