A guest post from a single sister in Christ in her 40s – thank you so much for sharing with all of us the treasures God has been showing you:
I wanted to share some things I have been learning through my journey of liking a godly wonderful man and all of the precious lessons God has been teaching me through it all!
I know, boy do I know, how hard it is to wait on God and a godly man’s timing when we like someone! I have liked someone now since the beginning of March. I admit that we knew we liked each other pretty quickly right after we met and were very attracted to each other. He kissed me the minute we both confessed our feelings to each other. TOO much too soon! Soon after that we talked and decided not to kiss any more (it was hard to do,but I think VERY very wise on his part to do that and for us to back off of that.
I don’t think it would have been good for a relationship to start off on just physical attraction.) That allowed us to get to know each other as friends first and base things on that.
I had some strong feelings already at that point and when he backed off, I assumed that because he was not asking me out, he was not interested any more. NOT TRUE! He wanted to get to know me better first, take a look at what spiritual fruit I was displaying, how I treated others, (we are former coworkers) my walk with Christ, etc.
- At one point I texted him that “I wish we were on a date.” His one word response to me? “Patience.” OUCH!
For about a week I told him I needed to back off and that we should only speak about work stuff to each other. It was good and it allowed me to get my emotions back under control. I have always prayed and sought God’s leading throughout this whole thing and I felt like then, that even though we were not “a couple” that my job was to be myself, to be real, respect and admire him and just get to know him for what he wanted to give me at the time. So that is what I did…we spent the next few months just laughing, talking and getting to know each other’s hearts.
Imagine my surprise when he started to open his heart and admit to me he really liked me. He said it was his intention to ask me out once he knew me better but that now he realized he “liked me a lot” and could see me as someone who could be a part of his life for a long time. We actually had 2 times of finally meeting up outside of the work environment but then [our employer] let his contract end. 🙁 He will more than likely be rejoining the military. So, I am in a place of not only great great uncertainty (we are still not an official couple yet) but he may be leaving for basic training soon… and I don’t know yet if he will want me to be a part of that journey.
I know April has some posts out about not rushing/pressuring a man in the first stages of dating and this experience has taught me so much about that. I have sought God’s leading through this whole thing and He has not steered me wrong! He tells me what this man needs from me but He also tells me what to do in this situation. And yes, it has involved a LOT of sitting on my hands and sitting back and letting this wonderful man lead me. I think if I become a wife in the future it has been a good lesson for submitting to a husband, and for continuing to fully submit to God also and seek His face in everything.
- This has involved TONS of dying to myself. Of learning self control. Of learning PATIENCE. Of learning to just be still and wait on God.
I used to be “that” girl in the past…the girl who asked guys out. The girl who gave guys her number. The girl who chased after men when I liked them. The girl who pressured for labels and wanting to be married. God and His great power have enabled me not do any of those things with this man. I am SO THANKFUL for Him and for that! But let me tell you…the rewards have been SO AWESOME to rest and trust in God and the guy’s leading.
I have let him lead the entire time. He Facebook friend requested me, he gave me his phone number, etc. Of course I had to do things to let him know I liked him, like flirt, come to his cube and talk to him, start conversations, and be friendly, etc. But I have let him take the lead on the bigger stuff 100% of the time.
Because I let him lead, and did not pressure him for labels or rush him to be exclusive, I have gotten to truly experience some of the most romantic moments of my life with this man.
I TRULY care about him, I admire him, I respect him – and the last thing I want to do is pressure him with everything he is dealing with right now. So, I feel like the Lord is telling me to just keep continuing on this path… as suspenseful as it is right now. This man has TONS on his plate and I would hate to know I added to that by pressuring him.
I’m so thankful that God is using this trial to shape me and mold me into a more Christlike woman. It seems like every day He is teaching me something else or pulling some other sin out of me that I didn’t know was there. I realized at one point that this guy was starting to get first place in my heart so I had to confess that and get my priorities back on track. It has caused me to want to know Christ on a deeper basis. To really study the character and attributes of Christ. To want to know better how to love others like He does. To really look at myself and my own sins and to make sure I am humbling my heart and that my heart is soft and open to what the Holy Spirit is telling me.