Most women long for a strong, beautiful romantic relationship with a special man. If you are a follower of Jesus, you may desire a godly relationship with a man who loves Jesus as much as you do.

The problem is, something sneaky can easily trip you up and cause you to miss out on your greatest dreams for your relationship.

Thankfully, we don’t have to stay stuck and frustrated! We just need to let the blazing light of God’s Word to shine on the root issue behind all the mess. 

The Deepest Issue for Us All

In any human relationship, there is one bedrock, foundational factor to consider first if things are not going well. And it is not intuitive.

I need to ask myself:

What is my root motive right now?

  • Am I living in pride? Do I think I know best and I have all the wisdom and everyone needs to do things my way?
  • Or do I embrace godly humility? Do I acknowledge God and respect His design and His way?

Will I humble myself and allow the Lord to show me His Word and His wisdom? 

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:9

The craziest thing about pride is, it is blinding to the one who cherishes it. We can see it clearly in other people’s lives and it is super obnoxious. But it is hard to see it in ourselves. 

Even though pride is probably the number one root sin for us (that leads to every other sin), unfortunately, we tend to ignore it and not think that it is a big deal.

Healthy Relationships Start with Humility 

When you approach your guy from a posture of humility and are willing to embrace God’s Spirit and His wisdom for you as a woman, everyone wins, including you!

Up close view of a woman hugging a man from the side in a city street. Both are smiling and looking down.
Photo by Joanna Nix on Unsplash


“Humility is the displacement of self by the enthronement of God.” 

― Andrew Murray, Humility: The Journey Toward Holiness

Humility draws others to us. Pride repels others from us.


  • Acknowledges the proper relationship between self and the Creator
  • Has a servant’s heart
  • Finds contentment with any assignment from God, even the lowliest
  • Considers others first
  • Is the root of all virtue (Andrew Murray, “Humility”)
  • gives up the old sinful self
  • receives all of the new self and new identity in Christ
  • receives all of God’s truth 
  • allows God to be ALL and do ALL
  • follows God

Humility does not

  • seek recognition
  • desire human praise or approval
  • focus on its sin constantly
  • seek to punish itself

Humility is not

Pride Kills Relationships

When we approach another person in our wisdom and pride, we contaminate—and eventually destroy—our relationship. We also hurt our relationship with God.

A pride-based approach is never going to work to nurture any relationship.

Pride ruins us and taints the way we interact with others with poison.


Included are the ideas of arrogance, cynical insensitivity to the needs of others, and presumption… The negative sense points to a sinful individual who shifts ultimate confidence from God to self.

Pride Says (consciously or unconsciously)

  • My perspective is the only one that’s right.
  • Me getting my way is more important than how I treat you
  • I’m better than you are
  • I know better than anyone
  • Do what I say 
  • My needs matter more than yours.
  • My feelings matter more than yours.

Pride Results In Terrible Things for Us and Our Relationships

  • Disgrace (Prov. 11:2)
  • Repelling other people (1 Cor. 13:4-6)
  • A terrible fall (Prov. 16:18-19, 1 Cor. 10:12)
  • Destruction (Prov 16:18, Prov. 18:12)
  • Spiritual blindness, foolishness, and darkness (Rom. 1:21-22)
  • Hard heartedness, disobedience (Neh. 9:16)
  • Selfishness and even narcissism (1 Cor. 4:6, 1 Cor. 8:1)
  • A reprobate mind (Rom. 1:28)
  • Spiritual poverty (Rev. 3:17)
  • A trap (Psalm 59:12)
  • Self-deception (Prov. 26:12, Obad .1:3, Rom. 12:16, Gal. 6:3)
  • Hopelessness (Prov. 26:12)
  • Self-righteousness (Luke 18:9-14, Rom. 12:3)
  • Quarrels (Prov. 13:10)
  • Envy (2 Cor. 10:12)
  • All other sins (Rom. 1:24, 26, 28, 29-32)
  • Lack of love (1 Cor.13:4-5)

How God Responds to Our Pride

  • Discipline, punishment and/or humbling from God (Psalm 31:23, Psalm 101:5, Prov. 16:5, Prov. 29:23, Isa. 2:12, Zeph. 3:11)
  • God opposes us (James 4:6)
  • Great distance between ourselves and God (Psalm 138:6)
  • Condemnation (1 Tim. 3:6)
  • We receive no honor from the Lord (Prov. 25:27)

Bottom Line—Humility Is the Path to God’s Favor 

If you want a healthy, vibrant relationship with a godly man, you need God. You need His greatest blessings, wisdom, and power. You need spiritual strength. You need a new heavenly nature.

Humility is the path to God, salvation, and vibrant spiritual life. Jesus is the greatest treasure there is! When you have Him, other blessings flow from that union.



Show us your glorious path of humility! Help us see the exquisite beauty and value of it. Help us see the ugliness of pride and just how evil it is. Help us desire humility wholeheartedly so that we can have much more experience daily of You in our lives and relationships.


**Note – If you are facing serious issues like cheating, abuse, active addictions, uncontrolled mental health issues, or if you are very spiritually or mentally unwell, please seek godly, experienced, trustworthy counsel one-on-one. And if you are not safe, please try to get somewhere safe. 


Have you ever experienced how godly humility can bless your relationship? 

Much love!


“Humility” by Andrew Murray ($0.99 on Kindle 1/26/20)

Verses about Humility

Verses about Pride

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