There is power in dressing in a feminine, beautiful way. That will put you squarely on guys’ radar and get you noticed. Wearing masculine, unisex or frumpy clothing, or caring nothing for your appearance will take you off the radar screen altogether. Flowing, colorful, delicate fabrics and beautiful little details in your appearance will accentuate your femininity and draw guys to you. Generally, long hair that is well-kept will also draw the attention of men. ( “If a woman has long hair, it is her glory…” I Corinthians 11:15a) And, of course, tasteful makeup can play up your physical beauty and draw the attention of the guys around you. But don’t underestimate the power of good posture, self-confidence and being in great physical shape – these things all draw the attention of guys toward you and make you appear very attractive to men.

But once you draw men to you with your feminine appearance – there must be something substantial in your heart and soul to keep the great guys attracted to you – a feminine, godly spirit! That is the REAL power of femininity! The external things won’t count for much if there is nothing of substance inside.


Many girls think almost constantly about what they will wear, hairstyles, jewelry, makeup and trying to look like a “10” so they can get all the guys’ attention. We have to be VERY careful here because it is so easy for all the exterior trappings of femininity to become an idol. Many women would and do give everything they have in order to be beautiful, sexy, attractive, slender, and perfect externally. There are women who pay incredible amounts of money to have plastic surgery: tummy tucks, face lifts, breast implants, lipo-suction, etc…

(By the way, many men HATE “fake” bodies and really don’t expect women to do all of this extreme stuff to themselves! There are risks to surgery! And many women become so addicted to plastic surgery that no matter how much money they spend or how many procedures they have, it is NEVER enough! Perfection is an illusion, precious girls! We can spend some reasonable amount of time and effort on our appearance but to spend all our time and money on something that can’t satisfy us is insane! Peace begins in the heart and soul, not in having some elusive “perfect” beauty.)

There are women who starve themselves to the point of death trying to be thin and sexy. There are women who have such an addiction to food or who abuse food so much that they are destroying their teeth, their throats, their health and their beauty in their addiction to bingeing and purging. These addictions and very destructive behaviors are idolatry – putting something before God in our hearts. ANYTHING we put on the throne of our lives that is not Christ Jesus will destroy us! IT IS NOT WORTH IT! Whether it is alcohol, money, drugs, sex, fame, beauty, career, nice things, people – all of them will destroy us if we worship and serve them as a god in our lives.


God must be God in our hearts. We can make efforts to look attractive, but we must be careful to present our bodies as living sacrifices to God – dressing in a way to bring glory and honor to Him. God is the One we must most carefully endeavor to please! Our clothing and appearance are a HUGE billboard to the world about who we are, our priorities and our respect for ourselves, our bodies, our sexuality, our respect for God and others. It’s time to go through our closets and make sure that we are dressing to honor God, our femininity and to honor masculinity by refusing to dress in a way that might make our brothers in Christ stumble and fall spiritually. Why are we wearing what we are wearing? We need to examine the motivations of our hearts! I would recommend praying over each article of clothing and maybe even asking a godly dad, mom, older brother or godly older woman in your life to help you decide what needs to not be in your wardrobe anymore.


If you dress femininely without regard to modesty, you are playing with fire! There is extreme power in dressing seductively – but that power is designed by God to be used only IN marriage in order to build unity and a one-flesh relationship with your husband. Outside of marriage, dressing to accentuate your sexuality will bring about temptations that are probably more than you can handle, and definitely more than a lot of guys can handle. I do NOT want to contribute to causing men to stumble spiritually. Many men, both young and old will be ogling you, imagining you with your clothes off, maybe even imagining having sex with you – YIKES!! Yes, men are 100% responsible to God for their own sin. But we are accountable to God for how we dress and whether or not we are blatantly throwing temptation in the face of other people.


You will attract men who only care about using your body for their own selfish, sexual desires, not about your soul and heart if you dress to attract attention to your sensuality. Many guys are EXTREMELY visual. They are very sensitive to an attractive female form. Lots of girls today dress provocatively to attract the sexual attention of men – and dressing this way screams to all the men who see you “I am sexually available to you. I am EASY. It won’t take much effort for you to have my body. I have no moral codes or spiritual convictions. I don’t respect God. I don’t respect my body. I don’t respect my sexuality. And I am fine with you not respecting my body, my soul, my heart and my sexuality.” Then the kinds of guys you will have falling all over themselves to get to you will use your body and discard you, leaving you more spiritually/emotionally/sexually broken, shamed, weak, unloved and alone than you could ever have imagined possible.

I’m so thankful that God offers hope, healing and forgiveness to our many sisters who are sexually broken and wounded. And I feel confident that they would all say to you that you do not want to follow them down the path they chose. Learn from the example of millions of women who have gone before you! There is never regret when we choose God’s way – only peace, joy and fulfillment. The world’s way will lead to destruction, heartbreak, pain, disease, grief and death.


If you dress femininely AND modestly, then you are on guys’ radar, and you are attractive, beautiful to look at, and alluring, BUT you are also much better protected sexually/emotionally/spiritually because you are communicating the message “I have respect for God, for myself, for my sexuality. I cherish my femininity. I cherish and respect masculinity, too! I will be treated with respect by guys. I know who I am, and I know Whose I am. I have high standards. I am not ‘easy’ I am very valuable and difficult to get”

If you dress modestly, you are an oasis of relief in a sea of sensuality in our culture to some godly guys who really struggle with lust. When your body is properly covered up and you look very feminine, a guy can focus on your face, your eyes, your words and your spirit. Then you can attract a guy who cares much more about your soul and your heart than he does about your body. He will care about your body, too, have no fear! But you MUST have a guy who will put your emotional and spiritual and physical best interests before his own!


You can dress femininely and not have a feminine spirit. But when you combine a feminine appearance with a feminine spirit, there is an explosion of power for you to command in your romantic relationships! I pray that you might discover the joy and peace of dressing in a modest, yet beautifully attractive feminine way that celebrates the gift God has given you of being a daughter of the King!

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