SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN TOO DEEP WITH A MARRIED/UNAVAILABLE MAN OR UNBELIEVER:
- you get butterflies in your stomach if you know you might see him
- you think about him often
- you imagine what life would be like with him and daydream about him
- you pay extra attention to your wardrobe/hair/make-up if you think you might see him that day
- you want to (or you actually DO) call him/text him/FB message him/email him privately
- you really enjoy being around him
- you find yourself wanting to hide things (or hiding things) from your coworkers/family/friends about your relationship and contact with this man
- you smile constantly when he’s in the room
- you go out of your way to try to run into him
- you want to share big news with him before you want to tell anyone else
- you like it when he looks at you and flirts with you
- you feel like he “really understands” you
- you want to confide all your feelings and thoughts to him
- you begin to depend on his emotional connection and sharing
- you know your feelings are out of control for him
- you “feel loved” by him
- you feel anxiety about him
SIGNS THAT A MAN IS DANGEROUS FOR YOU:
- your parents/boyfriend/fiance ask you not to talk to the guy or see this other guy anymore
- he flirts with you a lot
- he gives you frequent compliments
- he puts your boyfriend/fiance down or says, “If I were your man, I’d do X!”
- he subtly begins to try to “control” you – to tell you how he wants you to dress, wear your hair, who you talk to or what you do
- he demands your time and attention
- he gets really offended if you don’t call/message/email/text/visit/respond
- when you get nervous that things may be going too far, he pulls back and insists calmly, “We’re just friends! Everything’s cool!”
- he seems so interested in hearing about God and the gospel but only wants to hear about it in private and doesn’t want to talk to a man about God – only YOU.
- he makes it clear that he intends to be with you romantically
- he doesn’t respect your boyfriend/fiance
- he tries to isolate you
- he wants to “counsel” you or “guide” you in your life and in your marriage as if he has wisdom to offer and you are his “student.”
- he wants you to be willing to sin to be with him or for him
- he is telling other people about his sexual plans for you
- he talks about sexual things with you
- he touches you/hugs you or worse
- he tries to get you alone and tells you nothing is wrong with your relationship with him
- he tries to convince you that adultery/fornication is not sin in this case – you and he are the exception
- he undermines God’s Word
- he gets aggressive, sexual or violent with you
- other people comment on the inappropriateness of your relationship with this man
- gossip is spreading about you and this man
I Corinthians 6:18-20 is REALLY clear about what God desires me to do in these situations:
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
GUARD YOUR HEART AND MARRIAGE!!!
- immediately cut off all contact with this man (enlist help from your boyfriend, a godly friend, your boss, church leaders – if necessary)
- if you work with him, try to change schedules or stores if possible so that you are not with him at all (whenever possible – if it is up to you – try not to work with men!)
- if you go to church with him, you may need to consider changing churches
- block him on FB
- stop all calls/texts/emails completely – change your number and email if necessary
- if you have to see him, tell him you can’t talk to him/be friends/have a relationship anymore – that it is not appropriate – BUT the more you try to talk, you give him more opportunities to squeeze back into your life and heart. Sometimes it is just better to flee!
- talk with a godly older woman who can help pray with you
- spend lots of time in God’s Word
- seek to be sensitive to God’s Spirit and His conviction of any sin on your part
- REPENT! Turn from your own way to God’s way with all your heart.
- focus on Jesus being LORD of everything in your life
If you didn’t read yesterday’s post “Flirting with the Enemy” – you may want to check it out!
