Thomas Haffner – a Christian marriage counselor who has a blog called www.reflectiverevert.wordpress.com wrote this comment in response to my post yesterday, “Why Women Can’t ‘See’ Sometimes.” I think that what he has to say is important for single women and young women to hear. I pray that the younger generation sees the catastrophic damage that has occurred in the previous 60 years and decides to go another road – one that takes them toward Christ. I pray that you might learn from the mistakes and failures of the women who have gone before and choose a godly path BEFORE marriage. I pray that you might find God’s will and purpose for you as women and God’s design for femininity, masculinity and marriage and study carefully so that you might enter into the marriage covenant relationship with eyes wide open and humble, teachable hearts that reject the ways of our world and embrace God fully. I pray this coming generation might bring great glory to God and have the intimacy with Him they long for and the strong, vibrant, healthy marriages they long for, too – and that you might be richly blessed by God!
I believe what you are seeing is fallout from the Feminist movement and the godlessness of the 20th century. Some important gains were made such as better workplace environment, the right to vote, etc. However, women have been told for at least two generations, “You can be like men.” The result has been confusion for both women and men in relationships as they try to “adjust” their natural, God-given inclinations to this unnatural way of being.
So, women can be CEOs of fortune 500 companies, wield weapons of war and be bread winners for their families. But they don’t understand why their men won’t “step up” and be “real” men at home or at church. One of the primal, natural motivators for men, the need to be a leader, protector and a provider of family, has been taken away. Why put on the shiny armor and mount that white horse when the women have “everything under control?” The men consequently don’t know how to teach their sons how to be men. So, we are left with dominant women and wimpy men that only use women as sex toys, money providers or child caretakers instead of seeing them as people to respect and care for. And we have women that don’t respect their husbands and wonder where all the “good, strong guys” have gone. People don’t know how to “make it work” because we’ve removed important parts of the “workings.” It’s like replacing the round wheels on your car with square ones and then wondering why it rides so poorly.
The reason your blog is even necessary these days, April, is that the present generation is struggling to reverse the lies of the sexual revolution. While the past was filled with too much patriarchy and oppression of women, the sexual revolution swung the pendulum too far in an effort to achieve justice. It got rid of God’s design for sex and the relationship of husband and wife. So, we are overrun with contraception, abortion, divorce, same sex “marriage,” and tons of confused men and women trying to be like each other instead of just being themselves.
The real “war on women” is the attempt to strip them of God’s natural design and turn them into men. The sacrificial message of Jesus is, “This is my body to be given up for you.” The world’s message is, “It’s MY body and I’ll do whatever I want with it, even if it means killing an innocent life or sterilizing (temporarily or permanently) my god-given fertility.” (Incidentally, ALL Christian denominations taught that contraception was immoral until 1930. Now there’s only one Church that teaches it. Morality doesn’t change, so why have some churches changed to try and fit an immoral society?)
Compounding the problem is that if a MAN gets up and says this stuff (like in a pulpit) he is shouted down and accused of patriarchy by women who have either knowingly or unknowingly bought into radical feminism. Ordaining women doesn’t help. What woman is going to get ordained and then preach this stuff? Feminism and deviation from the order of things got her ordained in the first place. So, in general, the only way women are going to figure out how they have been duped is by realizing it on their own or by hearing it from other women like you, April.