If there is a person in your guy’s life that annoys you, irritates you or concerns you in the way they treat your man or yourself – whether it is his mother, his father, his sister, his child, his friend, his ex, his coworker or a woman who is coming on to him – let me share an interesting little bit of information about human nature with you that I have observed …

If you decide to point out this other person’s faults to your man and try to tell him what to do about it – he will probably naturally feel he has to defend that person to you.

NOT GOOD. This causes division between you and your man.

He may also not appreciate the unsolicited advice – as if he is not capable of handling the situation on his own. Using directives with our men is an approach that is not very effective. They usually don’t like being told what to do.


This does not promote unity in your relationship! You don’t want to push your guy into a position of feeling he needs to defend someone else against you. This makes YOU look bad. You want to endear yourself to your boyfriend/fiance, not repel him. You want him seeing the best in you, not the worst.

If you do not speak negatively about this other person, but just allow your guy to make his own observations – he will probably be able to see the person’s faults and issues on his own and will begin to talk to you about what he sees.

Now his focus is on the other person’s sin/character flaws – not yours!

THAT IS GOOD for you and your relationship!

As you show faith in him that he will handle the situation well – that is motivating and empowering to him – and your faith, trust and respect will generally draw your man TO you.

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