There are some who say that if I seek to honor my husband’s leadership and seek to treat him with genuine respect – it must be just so that I can get what I want. It must really be about me wanting to manipulate and control my husband.

The truth is, we humans can always take a good command from God and obey it with wrong motives and thereby try to turn it into manipulation. If I do good things outwardly with selfish motives inwardly, that is sin in God’s eyes and it repulses Him. Here is how God thinks:

  • Doing the wrong thing for the wrong reason is sin.
  • Doing the wrong thing for the right reason is sin.
  • Doing the right thing for the wrong reason is sin.

The only thing that is not sin is when we do the right thing for the right reason!

Can women seek to respect and honor their men out of selfish, manipulative reasons to try to get their men to do what they want them to do?

YES! Of course, that is possible.

But is that going to fly with God or our men?

No. It won’t. I promise. Doing the right thing with wrong motives is destructive. God – and even our men (and others) – are able to see through manipulative tactics and wrong motives. They can tell when our respect or love is feigned. They know when we have a wrong attitude and are really just trying to get them to do what we want them to do.

Lack of genuine respect and honor shows up in our eyes, our facial expressions, our tone of voice, and in our words when we are frustrated. God wants to purify our motives and He wants us to walk in obedience to Him just because we love Him and want to bring joy to His heart in every area of our lives. Ultimately, the way we treat others is all about our character and whether or not God’s Spirit is in control in our lives.


Much love to each of you!


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